N's version of heaven? Not so much. But she still has the cutest NASCAR pout ever

We Went To NASCAR

This Yankee went to NASCAR for the first time ever.

I attempted to live tweet it but was completely distracted by my own jorts. In fact, my red, white and blue ensemble complete with a Walmart bag were a huge hit. And by huge hit, I mean no beer was spilled on me.

I have no full-length photos, but I'm totally thinking: Jorts are number 1!

We arrived and were greeted by two teens in a golf cart with a flag “ICE & CIGS.” My kids declined since they weren’t hot or in need of cancer.

Where was the Ice and Cigs cart when I was in college?

We immediately put on the kids’ headphones in case the next cart offered them beer and sex, and we headed to the race track.

Good-bye ice and cigs girls.
WHA?

When we entered Richmond International Raceway, I was overjoyed to realized that Cars was completely accurate except for the talking cars part.

I think that's pit row!
My job seems so much less weird now.

We took our seats to watch driver after driver, we’d never heard of, introduced until YAY DANICA! YAY DALE, JR!.

Then we bowed our heads in prayer, and THANKED GOD FOR NASCAR. A-freakin-men.

As the race began, E was transported into heaven on Earth. (prayer totally works!) He spent the entire time yelling: GO, BLUE CAR GO!

N's version of heaven? Not so much. But she still has the cutest NASCAR pout ever
We don't actually know anything about NASCAR so Go Blue Car was the equivalent of Go Fast Guy.

I spent the entire time looking for mullets and found only one minor mullet so I yelled: Way to ruin the stereotype, NASCAR!

Impressive dedication nonetheless.

We were 85 laps into the race when I realized it would be dawn before it ended so I bribed E with presents, and we waved good-bye to the blue car and our first NASCAR experience.

I can't hear you but I can see you taking my picture and thinking about leaving, and I'm annoyed.

As we left, I did see this sign in the parking lot, which helped to reaffirm that we were in fact at a NASCAR race.

No Tents Allow In Lot A. Who knew that could be a problem needing to be clarified?

Between you and me, we cannot WAIT to go back.

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