Yankee

N's version of heaven? Not so much. But she still has the cutest NASCAR pout ever

This Yankee went to NASCAR for the first time ever. I attempted to live tweet it but was completely distracted by my own jorts. In fact, my red, white and blue ensemble complete with a Walmart bag were a huge hit. And by huge hit, I mean no beer was spilled on me. We arrived [...]

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I am not Southern. I don’t puddle. I don’t host BBQs that include pulled pork, graduation parties that include country music or meet-the-baby events. And I don’t do small talk. The one Southern thing that I do, or did, is have Southern children. Born and bred in the gentile capital of the Confederacy.  And we [...]

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No one high-fives me when I manage to bathe myself, my children and apply deodorant to my armpits and not just to my shirt while finishing up our taxes, feeding the cats and emailing my senator about his most recent vote. (I do high five myself, of course.) I’m a mom. I don’t get awards [...]

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alex-button

When I was eleven years old, I asked my mom if I could start shaving my legs. I don’t know why. I just knew hair was bad. It was the same year as the unibrow incident. Hair is unwanted on women. No underarm hair. No leg hair. No arm hair. No stomach hair. And sometimes [...]

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I’m pretty sure schools created picture day to ruin my life. I start planning our picture day attack twelve hours in advance because we have to be there early. Like at least fifteen minutes BEFORE our alloted time slot since, in the school’s infinite wisdom, FOUR OTHER FAMILIES have the SAME TIME SLOT. Plus, anyone [...]

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Like nobody told me that I didn’t have weekends off. Most mornings I would step on Cheerios. And EVERY SINGLE DAY I would say some variation of: GREAT POOPY! So out of this plethora of joy, confusion and downright lies, I am creating and co-facilitating a moms group with Commonwealth Parenting starting this fall. And [...]

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I grew up in a small town in Connecticut. We had five thousand residences and two police cars. (so if you passed both of them you could speed home!) Our jail was a chair that you were handcuffed to (in case you miscount the police cars). Our high school was combined with the town next [...]

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Face of Tennessee Coonhoond Dog Looking Into Camera

I only began watching True Blood a month ago. Try not to die of shock. We don’t have cable and the vampires didn’t sparkle. And I honestly didn’t know if I could handle another take on vampire life. Because seriously people, they don’t exist. Unlike zombies. But Scott took the plunge. And I found his [...]

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