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My Dad Stole My Princesses

During his lunch hour, my husband takes my daughter to get her haircut so I could take E to an appointment. Being the paranoid person that I am, I arrive prepared.

Me: Here’s her change of clothing in case she has an accident and she didn’t eat much lunch so here are all the leftovers and here’s your lunch and she needs her bangs cut and here’s her purse of princesses and we’ll see you soon.

The hour goes smoothly up through and including the kid exchange. Until our way home, my daughter asks: Where are my princesses?

Are you referring to the very same princesses that you sleep, bath and eat dinner with EVERY SINGLE DAY? Your collection that grows stronger each week fighting off bad guys between hugs and “we love each other so much”?

Me: Dada didn’t drop you off with your purse of princess?

My daughter: I don’t know. Where are they?

I realize that Scott handed me nothing but N. No bags, no food and NO PRINCESSES

Me {because I’m so kind and awesome and my thoughts are full of cursing}: I think they’re still with Dada. This was our first week doing this so Dada is still learning.

My son pipes up: LEARNING TO STEAL THINGS?

My daughter gasps: He stole my princesses! I’m going to tell him: You fool! I’m making a mean face at you.

And so she did…

(If you can’t see the video, click here.)

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That is TOTALLY what a good attitude looks like when you find it in your pocket.

I Found My Good Attitude Mama

My son can have a bad attitude.

Me: Time to get in the car, E.
E: NO. I HATE THE CAR.

Insert school, television, slides, popcorn, his sister, a tree, leaving anywhere, me and pretty much anything that catches him in THE MOOD. He may have loved school, television, slides, popcorn, his sister, a tree, leaving anywhere, me and pretty much anything, just yesterday. But in this particular hour? He is very happy to hate with loud fury.

But, of course, I’ve come up with the perfect response. Because I’m the perfect mom.

I'm pretty sure perfect moms ignore their kids for their iPhones SOMETIMES. And there's a small chance that we are looking at something more educational and less Angry Bird.

Alright fine, but it IS still the perfect response:

Me: E, I’m not a fan of this bad attitude. Where’s your good attitude?

E: I can’t find it.

Me: Are you even looking? Because I really need you to find your good attitude.

E: But it’s so HARD. I may have left it at home.

Me: Look around carefully, E.

E: Oh Mama, here it is! In my pocket!

Me: Great news, sweetie.

E: I’m going to swallow it now, Mama!

Me: Um, okay.

I glance in my rear view mirror and see this:

That is TOTALLY what a good attitude looks like when you find it in your pocket. And eat it.

TADA! Now, where’s my award?

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