butter looks like a turkey

We Are Hosting A Simple Thanksgiving Dinner. Probably.

As I’ve mentioned as many times as possible in as many places as possible, we are hosting Thanksgiving for 10-15 people this year. YES WE ARE.

We are doing an open house, laid-back style Thanksgiving dinner at lunchtime so no one we know would be alone on Thanksgiving and our kids (and us) would be at our happiest instead of our most tired.

I’m planning a basic menu heavy on butter, turkey and potatoes and light on seating assignments, garnish and cleaning the upstairs. I also asked anyone who offered to bring dessert since my history with baked goods is mostly lumpy and gray.

I only made one request of my husband beyond moving a few things out of the hallway.

These are more Halloween mattresses.

Me requesting to Scott: Whittle me a butter turkey.

Scott: What?

Me: Make the butter look like a turkey.

butter looks like a turkey
There’s a non-whittling how-to to go with the photo by Foodista. I am not impressed.

Scott: NO. What happened to our simple Thanksgiving, Alex?

This Thanksgiving IS simple. Last time I hosted my son was 3 months old, and I baked bread in our dining room buffet and made butter like some sort of ritual blood-letting to prove my worth as a stay-at-home mom.

The man whittles wood for fun. He built me a porch swing as a birthday gift because I offhandedly mentioned I liked them. Granted, it tried to kill me right before a microbiology exam by flipping me over and into a rock, and I nearly failed the course. However, I’m sure a butter turkey would be less dangerous unless he used the same tools without washing them…

Of course, Scott and his brother are planning to deep fry the turkey, and the only craft my kids have shown any interest in is my digital Turkey hand so I’m pretty sure our Thanksgiving is going to be more ER than Martha Stewart anyway, and I mean ER literally.

Digital Turkey Hand

I don’t think I’m asking too much here when I request a little butter turkey to make me smile. But then it snowballs. The butter turkey google search leads to vegetable tray turkeys. A freader suggests my digital turkey hand would be a cute seating assignment, and I start to doubt my lack of seating assignments. Suddenly, I wonder if having the football game on will be such a good idea. I worry about not having the kids handprints as a darling centerpiece and I realize that we never ordered the cheese tray because I am too overwhelmed by the fancy french names to design my own. WHAT IS A THANKSGIVING DINNER WITHOUT A CHEESE TRAY?

I should’ve never flipped through that Better Homes and Garden because I just assumed my garden would be dead by now. Instead there’s an entire winter planter scene I’m supposed to be embracing. And Real Simple Magazine is only simple if you real lot of time on your hands. All I have a real lot of potatoes on my hands. CRAP.

So this might be my only post between now and Thanksgiving since I’m going to be very busy ignoring magazines and other blogs whiles cooking food and hiding clutter. (Seriously, I’m walking around with a laundry basket on Wednesday to fill with downstairs clutter and hiding it upstairs until everyone leaves.)

Plus, I’ve got butter to carve.

Happy Thanksgiving freaders! I’ll let you know how it goes.

This is how it all turned out: Thanksgiving Dinner: Even The Turkey Survived. Kinda.

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