FirstKissScreenShot

I Thought The First Kiss Video Was Creepy. Don’t Kick Me Out Of Humanity.

Confession: the 20 Strangers Kissing For The First Time video mostly creeped me out even before I heard it was an ad with mostly models, actors and musicians.

But once I did know, I expected communal backlash. Instead I still see it posted on everywhere with BEAUTY! LOVE! HUMANITY!

Maybe I’m missing the humanity chromosome, but I don’t see a human connection. I’ve never been pulled off the street, dressed by an Los Angeles boutique and paired with a stranger dressed by the same clothing store and told to kiss in front of a camera. I would hazard to guess these are the first 20 people to have this happen ever except for the ones who are actors on the video.

Is our modern-day experience so photoshopped that beautifully dressed strangers awkwardly talking before shoving tongues down each other’s throats feels authentic? Because the last time I saw that happen, I was a college frat party, and even the beer felt fake.

But here we are, a video with 41 million hits and me wondering if only awkward people find watch awkward people awful because the only person, who was equally put off by the video before finding out it was more ploy than people, was my husband. Maybe we are both missing this humanity gene. Or we really are soul mates.

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Pants in a bucket

My Summer Bucket List For Weird People

I’ve never done a bucket list before, but my friend, Katie, inspired me by pointing out they’re all the rage on Pinterest. She then buck(et)ed the trend by writing a reasonable, summer, non-bucket list instead.

Since I’m not exactly reasonable, I created Alex’s Bucket List For Weird People:

Pants in a bucket
Pants in a bucket
  1. Don’t speak to another human being for 3 days straight: This one may be challenging since I have a spouse and kids. I’ll amend it to “not speak to another human who doesn’t live in my house for 3 days straight” just so I don’t have to learn to mime.
  2. Pantless: If you need an explanation, you’re reading the wrong blog.
  3. Join a parade: I did this once in college, but this time I’d be sober.
  4. Take the kids to the dentist: The appointment is already scheduled. I’d like to hedge my bucket list success rate.
  5. Teach my cats the word “no:” A cat behaviorist swore that cats can learn the word “no” just like dogs. I plan to prove her wrong and teach my children this is not how science works. TWO BIRDS ONE STONE but NO DEAD BIRDS. Well, my cats have killed birds so a few dead birds and no real stones. This is why you shouldn’t use clichés in your writing. THREE BIRDS!
  6. Form a group: We don’t have to do anything but it sounds like I’ve accomplished something. Maybe we could do something like buy candy. Then I could say, “I formed a group to buy,” which sounds even fancier.
  7. Make human ears for all the animals in the house and animal ears for all the humans in the house and take a photo.
  8. Learn how to papier-mâché human ears.
  9. Do not learn how to paper machete human ears no matter how similarly spelled it is to papier-mâché. The former causes paper cuts, confusing Google searches and mockery.
  10. Make lists: I can already cross one thing off!

Let summer begin!

PS. I think I’ve been in bed too long.

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