vaccine denial meme

Pediatricians Refusing Care For Unvaccinated Children Is Not A Risk I’m Willing To Take

While I certainly believe shame goes a long way in our culture to create change, the idea that doctors are supposed to deny care to children born to parents who don’t understand the science of vaccines is insane to me. These children didn’t choose their parents yet the kids should suffer with a lack of consistent medical care because their parents are ignorant and afraid of vaccines?

I know lots of things parents are ignorant and afraid of and thus make poor decisions, but I also know that without a doctor on their team, those decision only get worse. Are we going to lock out every fearful parent from every private practice? Every parent who demands antibiotics when there are super bugs? Every parent who delayed vaccinating because they thought it was a reasonable compromise? Every parent who refuses to medicate their obviously suffering, mentally ill child? Every parent who doesn’t use their car seat correctly or doesn’t make their children wear bike helmets?

vaccine denial meme

Medical care is not just for the smart or the wealthy or the kind. The kids, who these pediatricians are turning away, will have other things missed like developmental delays because they can’t have a doctor and are only seen in the emergency room. Are we willing to take away all the positives of preventative care over one really, really bad decision that is rectifiable?

Change comes from compassion and communication — not a denial of basic needs particularly to children who have no say in whether they are vaccinated or not. I know people who have shown up at a pediatric appointment certain they won’t vaccinate their children, but when the parents are treated less like morons and more like parents doing their best, they come around to see that vaccines are in the best interest of their children. Isn’t that what we want? Doctors and parents working as a team to encourage healthy children.

Pediatricians need to do their job, which is to work with parents to create the best possible outcomes for every child within the confines of their home, family and community resources. That will never be accomplished if doctors cuts a population out of their practice. We should not force a pediatrician to chose which children deserve care, and the pediatricians who have already denied care over vaccines should be ashamed of themselves for punishing children for the “sins of their fathers.”

Those of us who worry about our children being exposed to diseases by unvaccinated children, we have a job, too. We need to work with our local children’s museums and amusement parks and schools because those places are where our children are the most likely to be exposed to communicable diseases. It is there that our children are at the most risk. It is not the doctor’s office, and it is not the doctor’s job to punish children for their parents’ choices. Those unvaccinated kids deserve all the medical care they can get, and if people want to force others to vaccinate, they need to go through their legislators and require them in places kids go for fun like Disneyland. Heck, maybe all our kids will start asking for shots!

I vaccinated my children for them and for the children who are unable to be vaccinated whether because of age or illness. I think those who don’t vaccinate or delay vaccination are foolish and ignorant of science. I think they are making a bad decision for their children and for their community. But perhaps that is exactly why we don’t want them all alone to make more bad decisions. They need a doctor who will listen and help guide them, or we, as a society, will suffer more. Not just because we cannot trust our pediatricians to care about every child regardless of their parents, but because their parents, those ones the memes call morons, will have no voices of reasons left in their lives and, most importantly, in their children’s lives.

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Being A Person Is Hard

Normal Life Is Hard But At Least I’m Still Writing

The dailiness of life is the worst part. Three meals per day. Dishes every night. Trash. Laundry. Paper towel rolls.

Being A Person Is Hard
The paper towels were there for days.

And every time I think I’m done, I notice my car and give up.

Why is it like this? Why can I clean today and be appalled at having a neighbor stop by tomorrow? I know we’re not the neatest people and we have three kids, four cats and a dog… oh wait, maybe it all makes sense now.

But seriously if you have cleaning tips, let me know. My most useful one came from my mom: Everything needs a home. (Funny to write that with fostering now.) When each item has a place, cleanup is much quicker and easier.

When I’m not complaining about normal life, I am reading and writing elsewhere:

On Richmondmom, I’ll written quite a few pieces over that last few months. Enjoy!

I also worked with Richmond Family Magazine for their Thanksgiving issue and look forward to doing more writing in 2015.

Finally, I’m running a Valentine’s Day advertising special on Late Enough! For a limited time, you can buy a large graphic ad for the price of a small graphic ad. This is over 40% off per month or 50% off a three month purchase! I’ve also taken $10 off per month for small graphics and text ads because I love you!

  • Text link (2 lines) in sidebar: $15/month. A welcome shoutout on social media included in the monthly price.
  • Small graphic (125×125, 234×60) in sidebar: $25/month. A welcome shoutout on social media included in the monthly price.
  • Large graphic (200×200, 200×250) in sidebar: $35/month. A welcome shoutout on social media included in the monthly price.
  • Text or graphic ad within a post: $50+ (size and number of links affect pricing) The post will be touted 3 times on social media. (this ad style is not part of the promotion)

Thank you for supporting me and Late Enough even though my house is messy.

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Me and Baby

Foster Care Question: Don’t You Get Attached?

I get asked a few foster care questions over and over again so I will attempt to address them here on occasion.

Don’t You Get Attached?

Of course. Isn’t that the point? Would you want a child to live in a home where the adults weren’t attached? Neglect isn’t just about not feeding or properly clothing children. Neglect is about not reacting when they cry and scream and laugh and get into trouble. Parenting means we act and react. We pay attention. We care.

And as foster parents, we called to meet these needs until the birth families can. We are not merely vessels of roofs and winter coats and arriving on time for appointments.  We are examples of safety and connection, and this means we, as foster parents, must be attached to all the children in our homes. I just don’t see another way.

Me and Baby
Me holding the baby in the ER while we waited to be admitted a few weeks ago.

But even the caseworkers and the lawyers say what they ask of foster parents is difficult– to unreservedly attach while knowing we will have to say goodbye in a month or a year. We may agree or disagree with the judge’s decision, but we will have no choice or say in the matter. Our job is to love and care until we are told to let go.

I haven’t had to say goodbye so I am not an expert on my reaction. I assume it will be hard. When I think about it, it is hard. It brings up tears and heartbreak not because I will disagree with the outcome — I believe in reunification — but because I am attached. Because I will always attach. Children need love, and as I’ve said before, in our family the love comes easy. No matter what the price.

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