
I was cleaning out the random bowl of crap that is meant to only have our car keys in it when I found a lollipop, and not the crappy Dum Dums my hairdresser and doctor palm off on my kids. This baby was a fantastical gum-in-the-center genius pop. I look right. I look left. I [...]
Tagged as: Candy, Candy Standards, Children, Cleaning, Everyone should parent like me, FREAK, Genius, Glitter, I am weird, Lollipops, Never waste candy unless it's orange flavor, Parenting Gurus Should Be Taking Notes, Sometimes I Am A Jerk
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I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?

Dedicated to the previous owners of our home. Back in 2008, when we found out that I was pregnant again, our house IMMEDIATELY shrunk. Our kitchen was already not wide enough to fit a pack-n-play and suddenly I couldn’t get my belly through it. And the wall between the nursery and the master bedroom was [...]
Tagged as: Bathroom, Friends, Homeowners, My Mom, Neighbors, Pregnancy, Scott, She's crafty and she's just my type, Sneaky
I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?
I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?
I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?

I took y’all’s suggestions and have been cooking your meals. I even made chicken for my family. I HATE CHICKEN. But because I am unbelievably amazing, I decided to incorporate it into my quesadilla dinner on Monday night. The Great Chicken Event: I finish work early and head to the grocery store. Organic chicken is [...]
Tagged as: Chicken, Cooking, Scott, Stupid, Twitter, Villains
I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?
I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?

I am trapped on the toilet because the coffee I drank encouraged my body to grant ten seconds of warning before assplosion. And then the doorbell rings. I’m not expecting anyone, but I feel the pressure of someone standing just down the hallway impatiently waiting for me to answer the door. I also feel the [...]
Tagged as: Bathroom, iPhone, Loki, Neighbors, Poop, Scott
I have a few subscription options: Get posts emailed daily, get posts emailed weekly in a newsletter, subscribe by RSS reader, follow on Facebook or Twitter. Who's sick me yet?