The House

Bowl of crap photo

I was cleaning out the random bowl of crap that is meant to only have our car keys in it when I found a lollipop, and not the crappy Dum Dums my hairdresser and doctor palm off on my kids. This baby was a fantastical gum-in-the-center genius pop. I look right. I look left. I [...]

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Um, that doesn't fit on my keychain.

Our house has quirks. You may have thought I covered those in the Psychotic Toilet Set Up, but I hadn’t even begun detailing my home’s “selling points.” Why not start in the family room.  The floor of this well-loved room is supposedly taken from a 1780s farmhouse.  I spent the first year in our home [...]

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Parallel? Toilet runs.

Dedicated to the previous owners of our home. Back in 2008, when we found out that I was pregnant again, our house IMMEDIATELY shrunk. Our kitchen was already not wide enough to fit a pack-n-play and suddenly I couldn’t get my belly through it. And the wall between the nursery and the master bedroom was [...]

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We are having our house painted. Starting Tuesday at 8 a.m.. It’s an effort to save the siding and shutters. Or my husband’s secret plan to drive my insane. The last time we worked on our house was a year after we moved in. Scott found a leak. I cursed our house inspector. And we [...]

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I’ve decided to become an Extreme Couponer. It happened like most things happen for me. I read an article, get highly motivated for an afternoon, everything goes wrong, and I write a humiliating blog post about it. (Do you remember the Redbook-article-Staples-Get-Organized-Parenting Fiasco of 2010? Exactly.) So a few weeks ago, I read a post on BlogHer about [...]

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I took y’all’s suggestions and have been cooking your meals. I even made chicken for my family.  I HATE CHICKEN. But because I am unbelievably amazing, I decided to incorporate it into my quesadilla dinner on Monday night. The Great Chicken Event: I finish work early and head to the grocery store. Organic chicken is [...]

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Photo 52

I am trapped on the toilet because the coffee I drank encouraged my body to grant ten seconds of warning before assplosion. And then the doorbell rings. I’m not expecting anyone, but I feel the pressure of someone standing just down the hallway impatiently waiting for me to answer the door. I also feel the [...]

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