I was cleaning out the random bowl of crap that is meant to only have our car keys in it when I found a lollipop, and not the crappy Dum Dums my hairdresser and doctor palm off on my kids. This baby was a fantastical gum-in-the-center genius pop. I look right. I look left. I [...]
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Our house has quirks. You may have thought I covered those in the Psychotic Toilet Set Up, but I hadn’t even begun detailing my home’s “selling points.” Why not start in the family room. The floor of this well-loved room is supposedly taken from a 1780s farmhouse. I spent the first year in our home [...]
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Dedicated to the previous owners of our home. Back in 2008, when we found out that I was pregnant again, our house IMMEDIATELY shrunk. Our kitchen was already not wide enough to fit a pack-n-play and suddenly I couldn’t get my belly through it. And the wall between the nursery and the master bedroom was [...]
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We are having our house painted. Starting Tuesday at 8 a.m.. It’s an effort to save the siding and shutters. Or my husband’s secret plan to drive my insane. The last time we worked on our house was a year after we moved in. Scott found a leak. I cursed our house inspector. And we [...]
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I’ve decided to become an Extreme Couponer. It happened like most things happen for me. I read an article, get highly motivated for an afternoon, everything goes wrong, and I write a humiliating blog post about it. (Do you remember the Redbook-article-Staples-Get-Organized-Parenting Fiasco of 2010? Exactly.) So a few weeks ago, I read a post on BlogHer about [...]
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I took y’all’s suggestions and have been cooking your meals. I even made chicken for my family. I HATE CHICKEN. But because I am unbelievably amazing, I decided to incorporate it into my quesadilla dinner on Monday night. The Great Chicken Event: I finish work early and head to the grocery store. Organic chicken is [...]
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So you want me to hire you? And you can’t do what you do virtually? You will need to enter my home? Possibly while I’m not there. Or while I’m there with two small children? Let me give you some advice. Don’t drop off this pamphlet at my house unless you’re a pet service. For [...]
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I am trapped on the toilet because the coffee I drank encouraged my body to grant ten seconds of warning before assplosion. And then the doorbell rings. I’m not expecting anyone, but I feel the pressure of someone standing just down the hallway impatiently waiting for me to answer the door. I also feel the [...]
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