I’m kinda mad that y’all didn’t tell me how easy it was to make my own frosting. 5-15 minutes depending on how much I screw up? Ridiculous.

Gray yellow deliciousness

Putting aside my white frosting not ever being white, I’ve been very impressed. With myself. Also, with how good my homemade frosting tastes.

But I need some help finding the best recipe for sugar cookies versus cake versus well, I’d frost a carrot if I could. So far I’ve made my frosting with granular sugar, confectioner sugar, milk, half and half, shortening, butter, (not all at the same time), but I think that the best recipe is still out there wait for me to EAT. Oh and make.

Some asides: I don’t like chocolate (DUH) so let’s stick to white, butter cream, cream cheese and whatever else isn’t chocolate.  Also, I can’t put too much confectioner sugar or my teeth try to run out of my mouth and to my dentist’s office.  3 cups is enough for me.

So I ask: What is your favorite frosting recipe?

PS. Can you explain why my frosting is gray?

My daughter is in cahoots with Crayola. Because all my markers look like this

Purple didn't even last the night.

Sometimes N tricks me into thinking that she has changed, but the tops aren’t on tight enough.

The photo is blurry because you can't contain the muscles needed to get those tops to close. Definitely a conspiracy.

If I wanted my kids to draw a rainbow, I’d have to buy new markers every other week. Although if I could just purchase blue, purple and black, I’d save myself a lot of money since my kids think FAVORITE COLOR means ONLY COLOR THAT CAN EVER BY USED EXCEPT FOR BLACK.

Nothing has worked. And by “nothing” I mean all I tried was nothing except water on the tip, which lead to my kids wanting all the marker to make the sink PRETTY COLORS and no markers actually working on paper. Oh and I tried vinegar which made my kids run away from the markers screaming: EEEEWWWWWW!

So I ask: How do I save dried out markers? Can it be done?

J asks: What are you supposed to do/say when another child is the grabby kid, taking a toy out of your better trained (or behaved?) child’s hand? What do you say to your kid about that? What – if anything – do you say to the grabby kid? And is what you say different if you know the child versus it being a stranger (an unknown kid at a park, the mall play area, story time, etc.)? Is what you say different if the kid’s parent is right there (sees it happen) versus the parent being oblivious (you know all about those not-paying-attention mommies. GRR.)?

And I guess on a larger scale, the question could be asked of when another child is pushy (pushing/nudging your kid out of the way, although not physically harmful) or worse.

I have had a lot of experience with this because my son in particular was a very laid-back kids with his toys. He never minded sharing his toys. My daughter is a little more OMG WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY STUFF and spends the first five minutes like a hockey goalie in front of the dress-up bin.

So I pretty much take no credit for my son’s good attitude around toys. I do, however, take responsibility for how I deal with kids who grab toys out of hands or push my kids. I try to assume the kid is having a bad day unless I see that evil glint (you know the one). My kids have pushed, hit and in general FREAKED OUT pretty much everywhere at one time or another so I don’t expect other kids to be perfectly mannered.

What I do is step in and parent both kids with a My son had that sweetie and if he doesn’t give it back, I pop that toy right out of the other kid’s hand. Most kids respond pretty well to an adult invention although some little buggers will run off with the random stick that EVERY KID WANTS NOW, and I’m not about to run. I just explain (loudly, if I’m really annoyed) how that kid was wrong but let’s go play over here and leave it alone and blahblahblah. At this point, most parents have noticed the commotion and help my kid out.

If I’m already internally stressed or if the kid is doing the creepy stealth-pushing-meanness that’s beyond random-parent parenting, I will steer my kid away without parenting the other child. I will also redirect my child if any kid’s parent has decided that the 30 minute conversation she is having on the phone is more important than finding out why all the children around her son are crying. I have enough on my hands parenting my own kids.

In the end, I pick my battles and don’t go to crowded playgrounds because it’s exhausting negotiating parenting styles, bad days and possibly-evil kids. This is also why I advocate for play areas to be segregated by parenting styles.

Perhaps, J and I need our own playground. Of course, my daughter will need a special guard for her THOSE-ARE-MY-TOYS toys in order to enjoy herself and I’ll be the friend she’s writing other friend’s about. Damn.

PS. I did address the “how to do it with a friend” to J in an personal email because I thought my friends who read it would think OMG SHE’S TALKING ABOUT ME when I wasn’t talking about you, but to be friends with me, you have to think at least once IT MUST BE ABOUT ME and I have a cold so I’m not up for reassuring anyone.

PPS. If you want to ask me a question, email me or fill this out.

The American Dream.  Rags-to-riches.  Anyone can “make it” if they just try really hard.

But what does it mean to “make it?”  Own a home?  Have a family?  Take a vacation?

Perhaps the wealth gap and other inequalities are lost on so many people because when we hear 20% of the country own 80% of the wealth, we think way down deep in our hearts: I want to do that. Or at the very least, we are sure that we CAN do it.  We deserve it.

The American Dream! Be whatever you want to be and earn lots of money while doing it! Or just earn lots of money!

So many of us covet what wealthy Americans have.  Instead of thinking 4 cars for 2 people is excessive, we think: I could drive a convertible when it’s hot out and an SUV when it snows. Secretly or not so secretly we yell: That sounds awesome!

I think most Americans believe that more money in our bank account would equal less problems in our lives.  We’ve been lead to believe that money is the most common cause of divorce (although studies don’t necessarily hold up).  Scott and I joke all the time about what great trust-fund babies we would be. No work. No worries. Endless opportunities.

And when Americans aren’t coveting the wealthy, we are emulating them.  Fake designer bags.  Living off credit cards.  Working 2 jobs so our kids can attend an elite private school.

The America I believe in gives equal opportunity without guaranteeing equal outcomes.  But what are these opportunities leading to?  Full bank accounts?  More clothing?  Homes?  Comfort?  Is the American Dream just having the basics to live or is it having more than we need?

Where is the part of the American Dream about helping others?  Giving back?  Is there a dream about living simply and being humble in this country?  If we are lucky enough to debate between a beach home and donating to church or the local homeless shelter, the beach home seems to win out in every home.  Even in my own head it’s hard to not justify getting my children just one more toy.  Or one more book.  Books are important!  That’s why we own 100s, right?

Sometimes I wonder what I’m hoping to accomplish in fighting for the America I believe in.  I fight and continue to live a life of hope and hypocrisy, not knowing what I deserve and what I should give back, not knowing if I’m living America’s dream or my own.

So I ask: What is the American Dream to you?

Over a year ago, I did a vlog the night before I started dyeing my gray hairs. I was only 31 years old and I had enough hairs to build a cuddly polar bear.

Almost worth the giant bald spot.

Photo Source

Except I like my natural hair color, but dying does not lead to natural color. My hair just kept looking darker and darker, and I felt older and paler like a vampire without the sparkle or the blood-thirst or the paycheck.

So I stopped dyeing and my gray polar bear on my head said RWAOR! I didn’t mind for awhile because I got carded at the Ben Folds concert when all the other women were being let in for looking over 21.

But I’ve had it.  The party of elderly hairs on my head needs to end.

However, I’ve decided to do highlights instead of dyeing my entire head.

Blue highlights.

Yup. BLUE.

Harkening back to my days of purple hair and multiple ear piercings without all the angst and platform shoes.

I had the hair consult so now I just need to order my favorite shade of blue from Special Effects.

That’s where you come in. Please, help me pick!  Also, if you hate blue, I’m open to purple-y colors.

Here are my choices from Special Effects:

Or if you have found another hair dye that comes in blue and stays for awhile, please recommend it.

So I ask: What color blue should I dye my hair?

Thanks for the suggestions except for all of you who didn’t mention any blues at all. I went with Fish Bowl Blue and here’s a photo of the results.

The zits are all mine, and the $50 gift card to drugstore.com could be yours.

There are a lot things about growing up that aren’t cool. Like the gray hairs showing up in my early 20s. Or the strange stomach pooch that my OB so proudly gave me post-Cesarean.

But I comfort myself with my new-found love of my own oddness.

For example, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to be a dog person. I’m afraid them and have been since I was young. But even then, I agreed to feed my neighbors dog who growled at me one afternoon so my mom fed him for the rest of the week while I stood frozen in the driveway.

But recently I was asked: Whose dog do you like better in our family?

Me: I like cats.

BOOYAH GETTING OLD.

But the one thing that seems so unfair, and every glance in the mirror reminds me…

GROWING OLD WITH PIMPLES.

Hello Chin Zit.

Those smattering of pimples reach across my forehead and down my neck. I'm crying writing that.

So when BlogHer.com and Olay Professional Pro-X Clear Line teamed up to give my 33-year-old skin a chance to look less like a 13-year-old, I was psyched.

Then I got the package in the mail and saw it contained not 1, not 2, but 3 BOTTLES. Here I am obligated to use it as directed for 2 weeks, and I don’t even use toothpaste as directed.

They look more intimidating than they are.

But I’m nothing, if not honest. So I lined up my bottles and read the directions. Use the cleaner twice a day, the zit cream starts out once a day and the keep-the-red-blothy-skin stuff away is twice a day. The problem with reading the directions is that you accidentally read the warnings and all these warnings about dryness and peeling without a tan sound worse than zits.

But my happy face did not peel. In fact, I had to up the zit cream to twice a day, and when I did, my tiny bumps, that only prescription acne cream had ever gotten rid of after first spending 12 weeks worsening, are nearly gone. YAY!

If I was a better photographer, this would be a bigger TADA!

But my usual iPhone zit continued to visit the resort between my chin and cheekbone even while using the products.

So if you have the occasional hill-to-mountain of a zit, I wouldn’t chose this product, but Roxanna Sarmiento, in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com, has great skin tips.

However, if you have the pervasive zit rash like my forehead and neck constantly did, I would definitely recommend the Olay Professional Pro-X Clear Line. I can’t list (literally) how many products I’ve tried so I could have the clear skin that I EARNED WITH GROWING UP. And since I haven’t learned patience in 3 decades, I was all smiles when it started working in 2 weeks rather than the suggested 4.

Now, I’m growing old exactly the way I deserve. With gray hair and attitude instead of teenage angst and acne.

So I ask: What do you like about being an adult?

This post was sponsored by BlogHer and Olay Professional Pro-X Clear Line, and since I have no idea what your skin looks like, we’re giving away a $50 drugstore.com gift card to one readers to use as you’d like.

To win the $50 gift card, you can receive up to (2) entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to “What do you like about being an adult?”

b) Tweet this post and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment here

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

Giveaway rules: This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected and everyone except the new winner will be sad. No duplicate comments unless you can replicate yourself. And I will need scientific proof. The Official Rules are available here. Enter between October 3rd and November 3rd. Visit the BlogHer.com Promotions & Prizes page for more posts about this product.

Disclaimer: I received compensation for this post from BlogHer and Olay Professional Pro-X Clear Line because I’m a grown-up, and you cannot buy my opinions with candy anymore.

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I wanted to write a Thoughtful Thursday post, but life had different plans. {sigh} Instead, I decided to find something that makes me happy and bring you along. Oh and force you to participate. Yay!

I have collected quotes for 20 years now (holy crap!).  I love words, and when someone strings them together in a profound way, I am awed. I used to write about them on this blog almost every day, but I got distracted by something shiny.

(Click on the author to see see my thoughts on the subject.)

The quotes I’ve collected range from funny:

“I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.” -August Strindberg

To thought-provoking:

“We turn skeletons into goddesses, and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need.” –Anonymous

They are from modern books:

In the brightness of the carnival dresses and wearing a stranger’s shoes, she stood on the porch of 124 ready to be swallowed up in the world beyond the edge of the porch.  Out there where small things scratched and sometimes touched.  Where words could be spoken that would close your ears shut.  Where, if you were alone, feeling could overtake you and stick to you like a shadow.  Out there where there were places in which things so bad happened that when you went near them it would happen again. -Toni Morrison from her novel Beloved

And dead guys:

There is nothing permanent except change. -Heraclitus

I adore my quotes and would love to add more to my collection or just read ones that make you feel, well, anything but bored.

So I ask: What is your favorite quote?

PS. I do a quote of the week in my weekly newsletter. After receiving last week’s newsletter, a reader said “Thanks Alex. You’re on a roll today. Just got through reading the GOP article from your newsletter (which kept me in from heading out on my bike). Muchos gracias for the intellectual input!”

I don’t like three-day weekends. They demand busy. Social busy like grilling or partying or hosting. And talking all that small talk that gives me hives. Although I haven’t actually been invited to any Labor Day weekend parties so perhaps everyone’s in their pajamas having thoughtful conversations about saving the world.

The alternative to standing around with a hotdog trying to explain blogging is traveling with the entire country. And by traveling, I mean driving at fifteen mph for ten hours while you watch the VERY IMPORTANT PERSON next to you decide to squeeze into the front of you because your lane is going two cars faster than the lane next to you.

Plus, long weekends are impractical. I would rather my husband have the day off in the middle of the week when stores are open than have three days in a row since two out of his three days include terrible store hours.

Holy crap, y’all, I’m a curmudgeon.

Maybe I can live vicariously through your plans of awesome. What are you doing for Labor Day weekend? Oh and can you invite me? I won’t come, but this way I can say that I have plans for the 3000 times I’m asked. It’s better than going into my long-weekends-suck rant. Probably.

So I ask: How do you make three-day weekends fun? And can that fun be less social and more sweatpants-orientated?

PS. Local readers: Don’t forget to enter to win free tickets to Disney on Ice.

PPS. Also, thanks for all your newsletter support. If you want details on the new weekly newsletter of awesome, click here

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Not too long ago, I ask what y’all listen to when you are down. I’ve been holding on to music a lot lately. The Green Day Pandora channel has saved me from tears on more afternoons than I can count.

For awhile, I wanted to compile all the great songs and bands y’all sent me before we find more. (I know that I’m missing a few; it’s not personal.)

The Down Enough playlist for when you want to stay in bed:

Bands:
David Byrne
Dave Matthews’ Some Devil album
Natalie Merchant
Sarah Mclachlan
Robbie Williams’ Escapology album
Fighting Tempation Soundtrack
PJ Harvey’s album Rid of Me
George Strait
George Jones
The Cure
David Gray
Eddie Vedder
Norah Jones
Ben Folds Five
Blues Traveler
Elton John
Adele
Florence and the Machine
Sia
Death Cab for Cutie
Alanis Morrissette’s album Jagged Little Pill
Pink Floyd
The Smiths
Neko Case
Oasis
Radiohead
The Verve’s album Urban Hymns
Johnny Cash
Hank Williams Sr.
Pearl Jam’s album Black
Morrissey
Damien Rice

Songs:
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac or Dixie Chicks
Down (Candlelight Remix) by Jay Sean
Breathe Me by Sia
Hometown Glory by Adele
Turning Tables by Adele
Family Affair by Abra Moore
Let It Rain by Amanda Marshall
Latika’s Theme from Slumdog Millionaire
Don’T by Jesse Ruben
Falling by Keri Noble
I Got You by Leona Lewis
Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles
The Light by Sara Bareilles
Gravity by Sara Bareilles
One Moment More by Mindy Smith
Koyal (Songbird) by Nitin Sawhney
I Will Not Take My Love Away by Matt Wertz
Burnin’ Bridges by Jessie James
You Lost Me by Christina Aguilera
Begin to Cry by Christopher Jak
Permanent by David Cook
On a Night Like This by Dave Barnes
Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson
You Make it Real by James Morrison
Cry by Kelly Clarkson
Papercut by Apollo Drive
Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath
Easier to Lie by Aqualung
Safe by Natalie Grant
Imagine by Taio Cruz
Wonderwall by Ryan Adams
Losing Your Memory by Ryan Adams
Who You Are by Jessie J
Shipwreck from the Satisfaction (Original Soundtrack)
Fly by Celine Dion
Wah-Wah (Piano Solo) from Wah-Wah Original Soundtrack
Family Tree by Ben Kweller
Come Downstairs and Say Hello by Guster
Mad World by Gary Jules
Evaporated by Ben Folds
Amazing Grace
In My Life by The Beatles
Zombie by The Cranberries
Light Eternal by John Michael Talbot

Because some of you jumped the gun last time, I already have a few feel better songs. Y’all are too nice to leave me down right? Or maybe because you’re psychic and knew that’s what I’d ask next? Freaky!

Get Up Enough playlist for when you want (need?) to get up and out of the dark:

Bands:
Adam Ant
Stray Cats
Spin Doctors
Jimmy Buffet
David Byrne (he’s the only one on both lists)
Dolly Parton’s album Better Day
Across the Universe Soundtrack

Songs:
La Vida es un Carnaval by Celia Cruz
Baby Got Back by Richard Cheese
Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin
Something to Believe In by Parachute

And of course, Josh Groban singing Kayne West tweets (thanks Amy)
Click here for the video (funny but not G-rated)

We need some more get out of bed music though. I like bouncy music with a touch of anger or self-deprecation. Pop punk tends to work wonders for me, but as always, I’m open brilliant suggestions.

So I ask: What do you listen to when you want to feel better?

Snuggling with my Kindle

In the last few weeks, I finished American Gods: A Novel by Neil Gaiman and the Hunger Games Trilogy so my WHAT SHOULD I READ NEXT bar is high, which is why I’m coming to you smarty-pants reading readers.

I have 67 books on my “to-read” list on Goodreads, but last night, as I scrolled through them, I mostly said to myself (because cool people talk to themselves): Wow! I thought I’d like that book?

I finally settled on The Ninth Life of Louis Drax: A Novel on the recommendation of my friend, Tara, because she and I have a lot of book-loving overlaps. She recommended World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War to me, which pretty much changed my life.  And she’s actually the only person that I’ve ever known to read more and faster than I do. I seriously think she might not sleep. (Hi Tara!)

But I’ll be done with my new book this weekend because, when I’m intrigued by a book, I pretty much devour it like a yellow batter cake with butter cream frosting and red flowers (dropping the birthday hints early this year).

Here some background: I am an eccentric reader. I like fiction and nonfiction. I can’t honestly say that there’s a genre I dislike although western and romance would have to work REALLY REALLY hard to be on my to-read list. I probably can’t stomach pointless horror, but I read every Stephen King book in middle school so my brain does consider Langoliers to be worrisome.

I want the characters to challenge me and the story lines to draw me in before it spits me out. I like well-paced book. Don’t get all ethereal on me unless it’s done with purpose (like Toni Morrison). And I hated overly detailed books (I’m looking at you and your three page description of bathroom tiles, Dostoevsky).

I like books that don’t pretend to be more than they are because I’m willing to meet any book where it’s at but don’t lie to me and pretend to be insightful when really it’s just trying to make me cry (Hi Jodi Picoult! I did like that one book!)

If a book feeds stereotypes without even realizing it, I won’t waste my time (which is why you should NOT recommend The Help to me).

As a final insight, here some of are my favorite books:

• 
Cat’s Eye By Margret Atwood
• Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln
 by Doris Goodwin
• Mother Night: A Novel
 by Kurt Vonnegut
• As I Lay Dying
 by William Faulkner
• Tender Is the Night
 by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• The Sandman Series (graphic novels) by Neil Gaiman
• Calvin and Hobbes (I own every comic) by Bill Watterson

But the next book(s) I read don’t have to be favorites. Those are six-ish books out of thousands that I’ve read. I just need help finding some that are good and interesting. You are good and interesting so you’re the BEST people to ask, right?

So I ask: What should I read next?

This post contains Amazon affiliate links so I could possibly afford the book you recommend.

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