Pregnant with N

My Kid Loves Her Teacher A Little Too Much

Obviously, I am so happy my children love their teachers. What parent doesn’t want their kids to gush over the learning and fun and classroom which their school teacher provides even if my daughter mixes up “mom” and “Mrs. X” a few more times than the person who let her live in her uterus for over nine months would expect?

Pregnant with N
You took up a lot of real estate those last few months.

Not this parent. I’m good with two moms if she’s happy at school.

First day of school N
Off to meet the greatest teacher on Earth. HOORAY!

Well… until her teachers is absent. Not only do my kids like their routines, I get subsitute reports that go a little something (exactly like) this:

Me: “How was your day today?”

N: “Terrible.

Me: “Why? What happened?”

N: “We had a substitute teacher, and he did everything wrong.”

Me: “Everything wrong?”

N: “Yeah, he didn’t do like Mrs. X.”

Me: “So it was wrong.”

N: “Exactly.”

And a month later:

Me: “What did you learn today in school?”

N: “I didn’t learn ANYTHING.”

Me: “You learned nothing?”

N: “We had a substitute. She didn’t know anything so I learned nothing.”

Now, I don’t know whether to follow up with the school to get the low-down on these subs or to just feel sorry for anyone who tries to take my kids’ teachers place.

N laughing
She’s laughing at all the people who aren’t Mrs. X. Good luck teaching, suckahs.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

3 thoughts to “My Kid Loves Her Teacher A Little Too Much”

  1. This is perfect timing. My daughter is the same way. This week they had their first substitute teacher. She gets in the car in an obvious bad mood. I ask what’s up and she says we had a substitute teacher. I’m like cool was he or she nice? She says no they did everything wrong. She didn’t even do calendar mom! I just had to laugh.

  2. I loved my first grade teacher so much (I still remember her first AND last name). That year my parents took an anniversary trip to Hawaii and came back with a shell necklace for me that I was so proud of.

    One day I wore it to school and another Julie (there were always a few in every class in the 1970s) said, “If you REALLY love Mrs. Hass, you’d give her that necklace.”

    I cried for hours and hours. What to do?
    I kept the necklace but I was scared of Julie B. for the rest of the school year.

    We’re friends on Facebook now because I did eventually get over it.
    But man, I loved that teacher. And I loved BEING a teacher, too.

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