Although I’ve had a hard time and cried a lot since Nana died, I’ve never felt like my life was bad or somebody was out to get me or anything like that. I even said I was thankful the kidney stones came the day after my daughter’s birthday party and grateful I was recovered enough from my surgery to spend Nana’s last good day with her before she passed.
I’ve been practicing being more optimistic about what could and would happen in my little world — more like I was when I was young and believed the glass was half-full and filled with something way more delicious than water.
Whenever I started down my worst-case scenario-is-totally-going-to-happen, I stop myself and say: Let’s picture the best thing happening — everything going great. And I would. I usually added a little prayer not to make the best scenario come true but to help me believe in the best.
Anyway, I’m shocked it worked, but I’ll take it with a glass of lemonade please.
PS. I wrote this right before my follow-up urology appointment where we confirmed I’m passing another kidney stone. This one seems smaller or at least not ER-painful, but I kind of lost my positive outlook for a few hours and replaced it with I’M SO PISSED and WHY IS GOD SO PUSHY? I’m feeling better now.