Lent started on Ash Wednesday, but I’m still struggling to figure out how to acknowledge it in my life. Hence, I’ve taken my six extra days of no Lent to figure it out, and I’ll just have to do one of these ten things on Sundays as well. Don’t tell God!
Obviously, I don’t just want to add a Lenten practice, I want to prove why it’s the most godly choice. So here are my top ten Lent ideas and why they will help you and I be the greatest Christians ever.
- 40 days of not working: Work stresses you out. It takes so much time. It changes you — makes you tired and irritated. It needs to go.
- 40 days of not showering: Showering is time-consuming and water-wasting. Save God’s green Earth and give yourself five extra hours over Lent to do good deeds like buying organic perfume.
- 40 days of eating candy: The dentists need extra support this time of year.
- 40 days of pedicures: Are you a disciple of Christ? Then you should get your feet washed. It’s in the Bible.
- 40 days of Facebook posts: This way your friends and frenemies can easily know what you’re doing and feeling at all times. Love your neighbor as your-Facebook-stalking-self.
- 40 days of not exercising: Rest. Even God did it on the seventh day.
- 40 days of watching TV: Why else would God invent Netflix? Plus, understanding cultural references is vital to being hip and relating to teens trying to leave the flock.
- 40 days of coffee: Because being awake equals being safe, nice, and least annoying. God loves least-annoying because He loves your neighbors, friends and fellow commuters.
- 40 days of purple eyeshadow: God made rainbows as a covenant with us. I’ll wear blue.
- 40 days of posting selfies: Focusing on yourself means you never covet thy neighbors’ things.
I’m thinking of numbers 2 and 7 because the more I do, the more God loves me.