Bloody car message 1

Television Messages

I woke up one morning late last week and went out to my garage only to be greeted by a dripping red message written on my car.

Bloody car message 1
GASP

OMG WHAT THE !?!? IS THAT BLOOD? DID I PISS SOMEONE OFF? AM I ALONE RIGHT NOW? QUICK! START SPINNING AROUND AND FLAILING FOR A WEAPON.

As I was about to fend off my probable attacker, I refocused on the entire picture of terror:

Car message 2
You Are Loved
Car message 3
And Appreciated

Later that day Scott asked: Did you get my note on your car?

Me: Yes, but I’ve watched enough Law And Order and American Horror Story to mostly think I was about to be murdered.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

7 thoughts on “Television Messages

  1. Ahahaha, I would’ve had the same reaction. That, or I fall for the message, thinking “Awwww”, then turn to see the clown or the Satanic baby doll come to life that wrote me the msg.

  2. Okay, on one hand this is adorably sweet, but that would have absolutely terrified me, especially in the morning. (I also have a strange fear of garages in general. I’m always convinced there’s a zombie hiding somewhere in them.) What did he even use to write with?

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