Me with a perm

Pinterest Tries To Murder My Hair

I decide I will have curly hair for Valentine’s Day because Pinterest and envy is my enemy.

I have always had pin-straight hair except for the two years my mom let me perm it in middle school.

Me with a perm
Talk about bad parenting decisions.

These days, after I shower, I roll my hair up in a bun and sometimes get light waves cascading down around my face because I’m too lazy to take it out before it dries. It’s actually why I have wave-ish hair in my bio picture.

Alex Iwashyna
Ooh, so much better than my genetics.

While I am perusing Pinterest because I’m finally allowed on the home page, an innocent, no-curlers, curly hair tutorial attacks me. No curlers! Gorgeous, wavy locks! Something I don’t have!

I click and read and think: TOTALLY DOING THIS.

The night before Valentine’s Day I shower (lucky Scott!) and decide it is the time to put this tutorial into action. Instead of one bun, I read that I should do multiple smaller buns. Easy enough. And when I finish, Scott walks by and says: Hi Miley.

Trying to get curly hair
OMG. And no, I won’t be twerking for you for Valentine’s Day.

I tell myself: It will be worth it. Just don’t let anyone see you before then.

The next morning, I jump out of bed mostly because four buns hurt to sleep on and welcome my beautiful, luscious curls.

My curly hair
Um…
My curly hair 2
Happy Valentine’s Day, Scott?

While my straight hair genes are laughing along with my family, I wonder if this is what Miley Cyrus looks like every morning.

After several hours, I manage to tame it enough to leave the house, but I learn a few valuable lessons.

Valentine's Day Hair

God gave my straight hair because I’m lazy, and Pinterest is trying to kill me. Or at least my hair and dreams.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

11 thoughts on “Pinterest Tries To Murder My Hair

  1. Whenever I try curly hair tutorials they turn out that way too! I am thankful for having easy hair but dammit, I just want to have fun with it once in a while.

  2. I’m dying over here. Reminds me of my friend who put her hair in rollers the night before her bridal portraits and woke up with super kinky 70s perm hair. So bad. So funny.

  3. I might have bought hot rollers recently — because wavy hair is pretty. Now I just need to find the kind that you can put in wet hair — because blow drying AND putting hair in curlers is practically an Olympic sport.

  4. Twerk it girl!

    No really, it ended up looking really pretty! And if it’s any consolation, I wake up looking like that EVERY MORNING.

  5. I was doing a double take because I thought you woke up as me. Curly hair is nothing to envy. People always say they wish they had my curls. They don’t realize I spend a lot of my time walking around looking like the Bride of Frankenstein.

    I hope Pinterest kills you really slowly because it’s pretty entertaining.

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