the great gatsby dog

My Dog’s Great Gatsby Moment

Last month on Facebook, I admitted to purchasing 12 rubber ducky ninjas in the last moments for terror before Christmas appears.

Ninja Rubber Duckies
Not good, not good at all.

They probably cost one penny to make and five pennies to paint, yet I had them shipped to my house for Christmas. Everyone, including Scott and me, got three in their stocking. I was both proud and ashamed, which is exactly why I shared it on social media.

Of course, in the mystery that is gift-giving, my kids are enamored. They never bathe without them. These ridiculous, pointless ninjas bring inexorable joy to everyone in our family except of one: Lars.

In purchasing these happy ducks in rubber ninja suits, I inadvertently own a dog-torture device. At any point, I can turn on the faucet and Lars will bound in — determined that this will be his moment. His reunification. His triumph.

Lars and Ninja Ducks

My dog is the great Gatsby forever reaching across the bay for the green, orgiastic light at the end of Daisy’s dock except his is a blue rubber ninja trapped (or free?) on a current of bath water.

the great gatsby dog

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us.  It eludes us then, but that’s no matter – tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther … And one fine morning —
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
– from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s
The Great Gatsby

I can’t wait to see what ninja parties he throws.

PS. You can buy ninja rubber ducks on Amazon IF YOU DARE.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

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