Emoticon Meanings 1

My Problems Aren’t Hip And I’m Jelly

My sister and I are 5 and a half years (six school grades) apart, which makes her infinitely cooler than me. She introduced me to terms like “jelly” for “jealous,” and how to pronounce “LOL” correctly (it’s not “el-oh-el” but “lowl”).

But it’s not her knowledge base that is impressive. Her superpower is that she can pull off USING jelly in a sentence and no one twitches. In fact, everyone wants to try because she makes it sound good. So good that no one bothers asking me if my sister has visited recently because they can tell by listening to short, ridiculous conversations between Scott and I.

Me: TMI but YOLO, SO
Scott: Don’t be jelly.

Eventually, we sigh and give up and everyone thanks us, and Katie goes on being her not-even-trying-to-be-cool self who has probably never used YOLO because she knew not to the minute it appeared in our vernacular.

Obviously, whenever I have hip problems, I come to her for help.

Emoticon Meanings 1

Emoticon Meanings 2

So I use the term “hip” loosely, but now I know that I’ve kissed without love, been skeptical when I meant to be embarrassed, and fake smiled when I was really LOLing. So soz! (That means so sorry. I googled it because I haven’t seen Katie in over a month.)

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

8 thoughts to “My Problems Aren’t Hip And I’m Jelly”

  1. And now I feel safe admitting that I’ve definitely spent time trying to figure out which emoticon was “JUST RIGHT” only to be “COMPLETELY WRONG”.

    Which face says “I’m too old for this?”

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