I’ve never done a bucket list before, but my friend, Katie, inspired me by pointing out they’re all the rage on Pinterest. She then buck(et)ed the trend by writing a reasonable, summer, non-bucket list instead.
Since I’m not exactly reasonable, I created Alex’s Bucket List For Weird People:
- Don’t speak to another human being for 3 days straight: This one may be challenging since I have a spouse and kids. I’ll amend it to “not speak to another human who doesn’t live in my house for 3 days straight” just so I don’t have to learn to mime.
- Pantless: If you need an explanation, you’re reading the wrong blog.
- Join a parade: I did this once in college, but this time I’d be sober.
- Take the kids to the dentist: The appointment is already scheduled. I’d like to hedge my bucket list success rate.
- Teach my cats the word “no:” A cat behaviorist swore that cats can learn the word “no” just like dogs. I plan to prove her wrong and teach my children this is not how science works. TWO BIRDS ONE STONE but NO DEAD BIRDS. Well, my cats have killed birds so a few dead birds and no real stones. This is why you shouldn’t use clichÃ©s in your writing. THREE BIRDS!
- Form a group: We don’t have to do anything but it sounds like I’ve accomplished something. Maybe we could do something like buy candy. Then I could say, “I formed a group to buy,” which sounds even fancier.
- Make human ears for all the animals in the house and animal ears for all the humans in the house and take a photo.
- Learn how to papier-mÃ¢chÃ© human ears.
- Do not learn how to paper machete human ears no matter how similarly spelled it is to papier-mÃ¢chÃ©. The former causes paper cuts, confusing Google searches and mockery.
- Make lists: I can already cross one thing off!
Let summer begin!
PS. I think I’ve been in bed too long.