Pants in a bucket

My Summer Bucket List For Weird People

I’ve never done a bucket list before, but my friend, Katie, inspired me by pointing out they’re all the rage on Pinterest. She then buck(et)ed the trend by writing a reasonable, summer, non-bucket list instead.

Since I’m not exactly reasonable, I created Alex’s Bucket List For Weird People:

Pants in a bucket
Pants in a bucket
  1. Don’t speak to another human being for 3 days straight: This one may be challenging since I have a spouse and kids. I’ll amend it to “not speak to another human who doesn’t live in my house for 3 days straight” just so I don’t have to learn to mime.
  2. Pantless: If you need an explanation, you’re reading the wrong blog.
  3. Join a parade: I did this once in college, but this time I’d be sober.
  4. Take the kids to the dentist: The appointment is already scheduled. I’d like to hedge my bucket list success rate.
  5. Teach my cats the word “no:” A cat behaviorist swore that cats can learn the word “no” just like dogs. I plan to prove her wrong and teach my children this is not how science works. TWO BIRDS ONE STONE but NO DEAD BIRDS. Well, my cats have killed birds so a few dead birds and no real stones. This is why you shouldn’t use clichés in your writing. THREE BIRDS!
  6. Form a group: We don’t have to do anything but it sounds like I’ve accomplished something. Maybe we could do something like buy candy. Then I could say, “I formed a group to buy,” which sounds even fancier.
  7. Make human ears for all the animals in the house and animal ears for all the humans in the house and take a photo.
  8. Learn how to papier-mâché human ears.
  9. Do not learn how to paper machete human ears no matter how similarly spelled it is to papier-mâché. The former causes paper cuts, confusing Google searches and mockery.
  10. Make lists: I can already cross one thing off!

Let summer begin!

PS. I think I’ve been in bed too long.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

10 thoughts to “My Summer Bucket List For Weird People”

  1. Hmm. I feel like I need to add being pantsless (I just tried to spell that 10+ times…is that not a word? I feel that should be a word) to my list because, obviously.

    1. Pantless is not a word but since it should be I’ve decided to not hyphenate it in protest.
      And I’m glad we are so mutually inspiring. If we were neighbors, we wouldn’t see each other much because of all our staying home time, but we would appreciate it.

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