Cat Paranoia

Cat Paranoia

Lars ripped open a cat toy spraying catnip everywhere, and by “everywhere” I mean “a small one foot radius” that I ignored for twelve hours.

Lucky for all of us, I did because when I came back to vacuum it up, I saw Nugget Hamburger. Stoned.

Stoned Nugget
Whoa. I’ve been laying here for a year. Or a minute. They might be the same underneath this pink spaceship I’m trying not to fall out of.

And paranoid.

Cat Paranoia
Mine. ALL MINE.

Although is it really paranoia if it’s true? Because I cleaned up the catnip right after I took the photos.

PS. Everyone who thought of the Nirvana lyrics, “Just because you’re paranoid, don’t mean they’re not after you,” gets bonus points of 90s rad-ness.

PPS. Everyone who though of the Joseph Heller novel, Catch-22, instead of Nirvana for almost the same quote, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you,” gets equal bonus points for a top ten book. Yes, I said equal. I love Nirvana that much.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

11 thoughts to “Cat Paranoia”

  1. What cute photos. When we had our cats I loved watching them after they got stoned on catnip. I was able to overlook the fact that I was enabling them, which seemed like a bad thing, and laugh at them instead, which seemed like a good thing considering how much chaos they added to my life. They owed me a little entertainment.

  2. Ah yes. I often get the cat stoned so I can have an hour to try and write something without interruption, which usually means I have an hour to watch TV, surf the Internet and watch the cat when she’s stoned, only mildly hiding my disappointment at not feeling the same exact way…

  3. What if you thought of both??? I am such an awesome 90s literary dystopic future nerd…
    When we had cats when I was a child, they avoided catnip. Never could get them to play with the catnip toys… Perhaps it was the feline counterpart to living in the Bible Belt?

  4. That is my theme song for obvious reasons…what are you looking at plastic owl out in the yard that has a camera in it that watches me?
    What happens if a person sniffed that?

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