The Battle Of The Band-Aids

With my post on Abercrombie and Fitch driving so much traffic to my site, I technically shouldn’t be posting anything. However, I’m not good with rules and all my freaders (friend reader) who were here before A&F and will be here long after it are all: Where’s Alex? (probably)

I’m in the battle of the band-aids.

You should probably buy stock in them ASAP.

Every pain my 4-year-old gets could be fixed by 4-5 adhesive characters stuck anywhere near the boo-boo. But we have a rule in our home that if it doesn’t bleed it, doesn’t get a band-aid.

My daughter: Ouch!

Me: Are you okay?

My daughter: Almost! I need a band-aid.

Me: No, it doesn’t need a band-aid. I can kiss it and give you a big hug, but band-aids are for when something is bleeding.

My daughter: Well, it doesn’t always have to be bleeding to be bleeding.

Me: Hmmm.

My daughter: Blood can be white, you know?

Me: Who told you that?

My daughter: Someone in my class.

Me: Who?

My daughter: That’s her name. Her last name is Class.

Me: So her parents named her Someone In My…

My daughter: …Class. Exactly. Can I have a band-aid?

Now we have an amended rule: Band-aids are for blood or making me laugh with surprise genius. I think I’m going to need a lot of band-aids.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

9 thoughts to “The Battle Of The Band-Aids”

  1. As Life moves on, these debates will become more and more complex. They will fill with awe and wonder. Read my link up there in the website linky thing.

  2. What is it about 3 – 4 year olds and Band-Aids? We have worked hard to convince C that stickers are for boo-boos that aren’t bleeding. It seems to work, most of the time.

  3. I love this post. It reminds me of being a kid and thinking I had come up with a really genius argument that I just knew would change my parents minds FOREVER. It’s so funny, now, to be on the other side. Those arguments I came up with were likely terrible.

    My favorite line: “That’s her name. Her last name is Class.”

    My daughter thinks band-aids hurt so she wears them on her wrist like a bracelet and somehow, through magic powers, they make her bleeding knee feel much, much better.

  4. When my four year old starts spinning a wild yarn I tell him “Hold on, I need to write this down!” or “I’ll get my phone to record this story!” He just laughs and swears the story is completely true.

  5. My SIL introduced my kids to “magic tape.” If it was a minor non bleeding boo boo it got magic tape. Worked like a charm and way cheaper than Band Aids.

  6. LOl, I used to teach middle school. My 8th graders LURVED band-aides. I had Spongbob ones and would make them sing the first two lines of the Theme song in order to get one. If I could go back in time, I would invent the band-aide, patent it, and reap the rewards…cause my kids love those things, too.

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