The Battle Of The Band-Aids

With my post on Abercrombie and Fitch driving so much traffic to my site, I technically shouldn’t be posting anything. However, I’m not good with rules and all my freaders (friend reader) who were here before A&F and will be here long after it are all: Where’s Alex? (probably)

I’m in the battle of the band-aids.

You should probably buy stock in them ASAP.

Every pain my 4-year-old gets could be fixed by 4-5 adhesive characters stuck anywhere near the boo-boo. But we have a rule in our home that if it doesn’t bleed it, doesn’t get a band-aid.

My daughter: Ouch!

Me: Are you okay?

My daughter: Almost! I need a band-aid.

Me: No, it doesn’t need a band-aid. I can kiss it and give you a big hug, but band-aids are for when something is bleeding.

My daughter: Well, it doesn’t always have to be bleeding to be bleeding.

Me: Hmmm.

My daughter: Blood can be white, you know?

Me: Who told you that?

My daughter: Someone in my class.

Me: Who?

My daughter: That’s her name. Her last name is Class.

Me: So her parents named her Someone In My…

My daughter: …Class. Exactly. Can I have a band-aid?

Now we have an amended rule: Band-aids are for blood or making me laugh with surprise genius. I think I’m going to need a lot of band-aids.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents an 2 elementary age children, 4 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

9 thoughts on “The Battle Of The Band-Aids

  1. What is it about 3 – 4 year olds and Band-Aids? We have worked hard to convince C that stickers are for boo-boos that aren’t bleeding. It seems to work, most of the time.

  2. I love this post. It reminds me of being a kid and thinking I had come up with a really genius argument that I just knew would change my parents minds FOREVER. It’s so funny, now, to be on the other side. Those arguments I came up with were likely terrible.

    My favorite line: “That’s her name. Her last name is Class.”

    My daughter thinks band-aids hurt so she wears them on her wrist like a bracelet and somehow, through magic powers, they make her bleeding knee feel much, much better.

  3. When my four year old starts spinning a wild yarn I tell him “Hold on, I need to write this down!” or “I’ll get my phone to record this story!” He just laughs and swears the story is completely true.

  4. LOl, I used to teach middle school. My 8th graders LURVED band-aides. I had Spongbob ones and would make them sing the first two lines of the Theme song in order to get one. If I could go back in time, I would invent the band-aide, patent it, and reap the rewards…cause my kids love those things, too.
    ginger recently posted..My GOD What is That Thing?

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