Scott in bushes

I Will Never Be Cool But I Laugh A Lot

Richmond Graffiti

As I went out with Scott on a date the other day, I thought: We look hip, and we’re hanging out downtown. I even braved the unzipped dress. We should take pictures! Great stylish pictures!

Except this is me and Scott…

I start out like most cool people do… with someone walking across the street.

Walking across the street
He’s in a cross walk which is like extra bonus points.

Me: Okay Scott, now take a picture of me.

Scott: Alright! Wait you keep going in and out of the shadows.

Me: Well, it’s supposed to be natural and artsy.

Scott: Artsy? Why didn’t you say so?

Funny camera angles
Scott taking a photo of me with the camera in between his legs.
Scott in bushes
Scott then climbed into a tree to take my picture through the leaves. I will never use the term artsy around him again.

Me: Fine, artsy is dumb. Just take a nice picture of me with something pretty in the background.

Blurry Alex
Fail number 3
Maybe if I shake my hair around it will look super natural? Or like I’m sniffing the air for vampires.
My scooter pose
The “I’m pretending to ride a scooter” pose.
Making Face Alex
Take the awesome photo of me already photo

Me: Why do I look weird in every picture?

Scott: Well, why do you make this face.

Scott making weird Alex face
He has a point.

Me: I don’t know! Other people must get lessons in how to pose. I want to look nice. I want my boots in the picture. I want it to not be blurry. I want the background to not be a random person or dirty clothing. ONE GOOD PHOTO ON OUR DATE. GO!

Scott: Fine, sit there.


Laughing and farting picture
By this point, I’m crying from laughing so hard. Scott’s thumb is in the upper corner. Also, I farted.

Me: No seriously, I just farted. I think that’s our bat signal to be done with this attempt at cool.

So we dried our tears until the next 11 things we did that were awkwardly hilarious to us. Like when I decided to take my photo in the reflection of a window of apartments that are not yet finished and the security guard thought I was casing the place. Seriously? I can still seem sketchy at 34 years old? High-five-ish because I think jail time is a lot longer than when I was 15.

We did get some non-troublesome pictures that along the way, too.

Canal walk in Richmond
We have a canal walk in downtown Richmond. It’s very cool.
Art in Richmond
More art
Scott admiring the amazing art we stumbled across that we probably should’ve known was there.
Be Cheerful Fit In
I still gravitate towards words. These made me think of my being different piece.

PS. I kept thinking about how I could redo this entire post and have only blogged about how amazing our date was and how cool our city is and how we are so breezily photogenic with some editing and cropping and leaving out all the mess. It’s good for me to remember how much the outsides and the glimpses don’t equal the realities. And even though I’m embarrassed when I don’t get things right, I like the laughter in the mistakes the most.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

17 thoughts to “I Will Never Be Cool But I Laugh A Lot”

  1. that was my over the shoulder “unexpected” photo. not my through-the-legs – didn’t-see-that-one-coming-oops-only-caught-a-quarter-of-you-in-the-picture photo. I’m so artsy.

  2. I love these photos. So much fun. You know you married the right person when they can make you laugh so hard that you both cry and fart. That’s pretty amazing. That’s true love. Young People, take notes!

    I think I speak for everyone, though, when I ask, DID YOU SMELL ANY VAMPIRES???

  3. I didn’t know those paintings were downtown either… I totally knew you guys had a great date and you didn’t have to write about it….your post told it all! I can’t wait to go back to read more of them!!

  4. Date night! I had no idea we have a canal walk…with people sticking out of the wall! Eat your heart out San Antonio!

  5. Truthfully? The blurry one of you that’s all crooked, and the one of you doing “scooter” pose—they’re rather artsy and wonderful, I’d say? The others? Epic. Fun is more better than artsy pictures any day. 🙂

  6. I was downtown with my husband last week after a trip to the library, and tried to get him to take some pictures. They look much like your artsy ones, only more blury, and less keeping of my entire head in the shot.

    Richmond looks like a cool place to hang.

  7. I know it’s totally a cliche comment, but I do think you and Scott would have stupid fun with me and Cort. Because we are about as artsy as you guys. Also? I love your boots. LOVE.

    1. We would have a blast together! (is this a cliche response?)
      Thanks. I love these boots, too. I am hoping to plan an entire BlogHer outfit around them just so they can come with me to the conference.

  8. I was all, man you’re sexy and then you said you farted.
    Those are the worst farts because it makes you laugh even more.
    I think those photos are way cooler than the “turn your chin that way and pretend that you’re in your happy place”

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