Stop Drop Roll And Call Everyone Afterwards Crying (UPDATED)

photo from although I’m not sure if the blogger made it or found it because I saw it on pleated-jeans too

I actually caught on fire 6 years ago and did an Alex version of stop, drop, and roll.

I froze, screamed, flailed, threw off my robe, stomped on it naked in my kitchen, and called everyone I knew afterwards hysterically crying.

Close enough.

UPDATED: So I should explain better…

I was cooking in our galley kitchen of our old house at our gas stove in my robe while my son was sleeping for the first time in probably four months. I nonchalantly looked at my arm and flames were flying up the sleeve towards my face at astonishing speed because terry cloth loves to dance with fire and now it was going to dance with my hair and face.

That’s when my non-stopdroproll instincts kicked in as I mentioned above.

It was terrifying and I was sleep-deprived and my infant son was upstairs so I didn’t stop shaking for hours. I also decided that parenting could kill you.

However, I was completely uninjured except for a bit of my hair, which is still uninjured. My robe was ruined and I longed to wear my kid’s flame-resistant pajamas for the rest of the week.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

8 thoughts to “Stop Drop Roll And Call Everyone Afterwards Crying (UPDATED)”

  1. And? And? How did the robe catch fire? We re you injured? The thought of you naked in the kitchen is a little too much before morning coffee. Did you you have nice hair or bed head? What a world? What a world?

      1. UP DATE: “Uninjured” is way better than “Naked”. Can I rest assured that your fire prevention measures have improved?

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