Victor Cruz FatHead Life size Poster

What Happens If His Favorite Player Leaves Our Favorite Team?

If the New York Giants and #80 Victor Cruz don’t get their crap together and sign a contract for the 2013-2014 football season, I’m going to be so pissed.

Victor Cruz FatHead Life size Poster
Over seven feet of pissed.
Giants jersey family
Double jersey pissed.

I know this is why I have, ironically, a #80 Jeremy Shockey jersey sitting in my dresser along with a few other short season wonders and finally gave up and bought the franchise quarterback jersey but COME ON. In my son’s Kindergarten class picture? He’s wearing Cruz’s jersey. He made gingerbread houses in that jersey.

Making Gingerbread Houses
I have trouble getting him to NOT do things in that jersey.

DON’T DO THIS TO US. Take the deal because I cannot explain over-estimation of skills, greed and the business of football to a 6-year-old and his broken heart.

First Giants Home Game
At our first New York Giants home game cheering for Cruz and the rest of team.

PS. If you see my child before a deal is signed or the April 19th deadline has passed and mention the possibility of Victor Cruz not being a New York Giant, I will assume you hate my family and will do what I have to do, which will probably entail a story about how you have been possessed by a terrible jealous and angry monster and we should avoid you at all costs until the doctors can make you better.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

9 thoughts to “What Happens If His Favorite Player Leaves Our Favorite Team?”

  1. So sad! This happened to a close friend in Charleston. Her son is a giant soccer fan and one of his favorite players for the Arsenal, I think, left. He too had a huge stickup picture on his wall. Come on Victor!

  2. We had the same exact problem with Pujols last year. Different sport, same catastrophic failure.

    Also, I’m intrigued by the shoe calendar in the first picture? Who’s a fan of shoes? And how can I get one?

  3. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!! I understand this heartache. I’m a grown woman and I get sad when one of my favorite players gets the boot. (I, too, have several jerseys that I can’t wear anymore because they now play for another team.) Le sigh.

  4. Is he on Twitter so I can share this with him? I will.

    P.S. The giant football player wall decal is all sorts of awesome and so is the shoe calendar. I couldn’t decide where to look so I just went back and forth trying to figure out which one I wanted more.

  5. I’m dying…my husband just forked over a lot of money on a jersey for our Chunk man and they’re probably going to trade him. The? Fa?
    You can’t just give a child a star and then smash it.
    They’re dream killers.

  6. We have Granderson jerseys…for the Tigers.

    I have a Zumaya jersey…for the Tigers.

    I have a Riemersma jersey…for the Bills.

    I could go on. We haven’t had to explain this heartbreak to the boys yet, but Cort has had to talk me off some high ledges.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.