The other night Scott came home, and I was distracted and worried about work so I paid very little attention to what he was saying.
The next morning he said: It would’ve been nice if you asked how my meeting went.
Me: Seriously? You really want to do this? (I’m not exactly a morning person, but really? A memory-off?)
Scott: Um, I think so.
Me: Your meeting went okay. You felt worried about J but you eventually felt better as the hour went on and C seems to be going well for you. Oh and your running shoes got wet.
Scott: You’re just saying back the three random lines I happened to say. You never ASKED me how the meeting went.
Me: Fine. You’re right, but why didn’t I ask you? Do you remember why?
Scott: Well… hmm…. umm… let’s see…
Me: Was I worried about something? Do you have any idea what it was that had me so distracted? No. Look, you win at being nice to me. You teach me generosity and forgiveness of others so your constant forgetting what I’ve told you in the last 12 hours will always be canceled out by flowers and hugs and how excited you are when I tell you it’s pizza night again. But I win at remembering that in five minutes the kids need to go to school, you need to go to work and no one is wearing pants while simultaneously emailing the kids’ teacher about snack time, paying a doctor bill, solving a client’s crisis, and asking if you have to round on a baby at the hospital at lunchtime or if we can eat together because we haven’t seen each other in a week. So don’t play memory games with me because you already get to be the nice one.
I think this is called playing to our strengths.
However, my husband has decided to start photo documenting our disagreements so he can remember exactly what was said for future reference. I now get texts with our arguments such as the time we debated whether we went into a Walgreens or a Duane Reade after meeting Hello Scam Artist Kitty.
If this doesn’t work, he’s re-watching Memento with permanent marker, but I plan to interrupt him in the middle with, How was your day, honey?, and he’ll never remember the beginning by the end. Bwahahahaha. Wait, I don’t think this helps me at all.