For about a month after I wrote this, I became too paranoid to post about being too paranoid. I told Scott about my dilemma on top of a dilemma, and he just walked away. I was jealous.
There have been a bunch of break-ins in my neighborhood so I thought I would cheer everyone up by emailing our neighbors about the outcome of the local Late Enough mini Hurricane Sandy donation drive that ended up being anything but mini.
As much as my local freader participated, I also mass emailed my neighbors about it without mentioning the blog part, but I forgot to let them know how it ended. The 13 car break-ins seemed like a great time to send the link with the photographs of the stacks of donations and the multitude of trips to New York and New Jersey. We could celebrate their generosity along with y’alls and the rest of our community. What a It’s A Wonderful Life moment where we could remember how amazing humanity is just in time for Christmas.
Except then I thought: What if they think that my blog is attracting people to our neighborhood? What if they blame me or my freaders for the break-ins?
Do-gooder liberal idealist who hang out with anyone plus weirdo bloggers plastering themselves all over the Internet? Add them up and BAM! Car and shed break-ins EVERYWHERE.
So thought and I worried and I thought some more while I saved and resaved the email in drafts. Maybe I don’t want my entire neighborhood to know I have a blog and blaming it on them is easier. Maybe I like the three people who talk to me, and I don’t want to lose them to fears about being blogged.
Or perhaps I’m the only one who’s forever looking for the O Captain, My Captain moment — the time where everyone comes together in the movie and humanity’s love and spirit triumphs.
But the best part of those moments is that they aren’t just in the movies. Every day someone choses to believe in goodness and light.
Except for my neighbors because I never sent the link.