My daughter on Christmas

Updated: Funniest Lines From The Holidays

We’re gathered around the yuletide computer watching NORAD the Santa tracker when I click on the video for Greece.

N: Why is Santa going there? That’s where they HATE SANTA.

Me: What? Oh no! The GRINCH hates Santa. Greece is a country. I think most of them like Santa.

N: Oh.


My daughter on Christmas
This is the face she makes when anything comes with more than two cats. This present had four.


N: Can I have an Oreo cookie?

My dad: Yes.

N: Can I have two?

My dad: Yes.

N: How about three?

My dad: Maybe we should ask your mom how high you can count.

I was tweeting with my friend @akaLaverne about how we aren’t letting work or to-do lists take over our vacations, and I wrote: I know. I’m going to set some strong intentions for 2913 about slowing down.

That’s probably the only timeline my husband would believe anyway.

Puppy with a donut
Puppy with a giant rubber donut. Heh.

Cat staring at stocking
Nugget longing for opposable thumbs to open his stocking

There are more, but I’m off to be family-ish. I’ll do a round-up post for the weekend though.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

4 thoughts to “Updated: Funniest Lines From The Holidays”

  1. Ours came from Petit Prince who opened his rechargeable batteries (yes I know it’s a dorky present) and faltered before saying, “oh look! it’s a dangerous thing”).

    And then he opened his massive tomy sketch pad (like etch-a-sketch) and said, “this is for little ones. I’m a medium.”

  2. This is so funny. I keep typing I hope people have good luck in 3013. Sometimes good Karma has a really long turn around.

    The Greeks have no idea how close they came to having Christmas cancelled this year!

    Nugget is hilarious. One year, when I was a kid, my dog got on the table and ate the contents of my Easter basket. So sad and yet hilarious because that was the year that we discovered our dog chewed gum and never swallowed it.

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