Somewhere between the guilt of cutting down our old oak tree and my husband’s love of building, a fort is growing in our backyard. Scott sent me the original specs, and I fell in love.
Scott bought my kids tools that really work so they’ve been hammering and drilling and dancing because it does look a lot like a stage.
In fact, everything is going along smoothly until I receive an updated vision of the job in an email from Scott:
Me: Um, what is this twee thing you sent me? Did Pottery Barn vomit in that person’s backyard? I want a rain barrel with a pump and tablets to clean the water so they CAN SURVIVE WHEN ALL THE ADULTS HAVE DIED FROM GLOBAL WARMING. I don’t want curtains and monograms. I want a safe house for the coming zombie apocalypse, and my kids to carve their initials into the wood WITH KNIVES.
My son’s ears perk up as he walks into the room: We get knives next?
Okay, maybe I’ve gone off the deep-end a bit, and my friend did point out that the strangest things become useful in zombie attacks so those curtains could be the perfect weapon one day sooooonnnnnn.
While Scott and I are compromising on the aesthetics of our backyard home/safe house/fort, we are ordering the things we agreed on like a (camouflaged) green enclosed twisting slide for easy escapes. However, the slide may fit fine in either version, but Scott confides in me just before Thanksgiving: Alex, I’m beginning to see that a set of free instructions on the Internet on how to build a fort may not be the most reliable. The second floor is supposed to just pop up and bolt in, but they didn’t mention that it weighs ONE HUNDRED POUNDS.
Me: Yeah, the Internet is a vortex of insanity. Or those guys possess superhuman strength and agility like the zombies from 28 Days.
Scott: You have problems.
Me: At least I’m not looking to the Internet to solve them.
Lo and behold, we (as in Scott) solve our fort problem over Thanksgiving without superhuman strength or the Internet. We just put our guests to work. You want turkey? You gotta EARN your turkey.
And voilÃ :
UPDATE 1/PS. After I finished writing this, my son built the ladder. By himself.
UPDATE 2/PPS. People asked what tools the kids are using to help out so here’s the scoop: We got a lightweight Bosch drill from Lowes (which is cheaper than Amazon but you may not live near one). We also bought a 7 oz Kobalt hammer from Lowes for my 6-year-old so it was light enough for him to use and chose a Kobalt tack hammer for my 3-year-old so there was no sharp edge for her to hit herself accidentally. (I can’t find the brand and weight we got on Amazon but I imagine any local hardware store would have it.) This is all they needed to be a big part of the project. Enjoy!