I can track where Scott has been for the last week by his socks. He just takes them off wherever he is and there they lay — a trail of comings and goings. I finally gave up on convincing him THIS IS RIDICULOUS for my sanity and moved on to fighting about who gets the last of the hummus.
I was proud of myself for letting it go. I held it up to how awesome I am at this marriage business. I just gather up his socks and put them in the hamper, and I have not say a word for many, many year.
Then my son picked up a sock this weekend …
E subtly manipulating Scott’s sock. Little do I know he’s about to rock my rebel world.
A few minutes later, E says: MAMA! MAMA, look what I did.
My eyes grow larger and larger as I think: Yes my son… look what you did. YOU PUT A KNOT IN THE MIDDLE OF SCOTT’S SOCK.
I realize the sock war is not over… I was merely biding my time. I am a sleeper cell ready to rise up against my husband and his on-the-floor socks, and now I have my secret weapon. My son and his new-found ability to tie knots. In socks. Socks he finds on the floor.
I swiftly and in front of my unsuspecting spouse, put my plan into motion: E, that is so great! You should practice whenever you find a sock around the house.
Scott looks at me, and I smile. It may have taken over 10 years, but victory is mine. ALL MINE.
WINNING IS SO MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN PICKING MY BATTLES.
New marriages don’t try this at home. Yet.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Can I teach a cat to do that? Because my hubby has the uncanny ability to take his socks off and leave them THREE INCHES FROM THE HAMPER. Seriously. It drives me NUTS.
Kudos to E. He’s a genius.
Abby recently posted..Pixie Dust–An Abby Gabs Fairytale
I am probably going to spend a good portion of today trying to teach my daughter how to tie knots…
Lily from It’s A Dome Life recently posted..Princess-Queen Ballerina For Halloween
My girls just add their socks to the random. Then my cats carry them to new spots. Chaos reigns and my mind crumbles slowly.
Winning rocks. Even 10 years in. (we’re all sleeper cells in the battle of the hamper…)
Kate recently posted..A shot in the arm?
Brilliant! But I’d be worried now about Scott finding a way to make E or N help him win a different battle.
Scott is not as devious as me. Which probably makes him a better person. Damn it.
I don’t even know what that means – the devious one is *always* the better person. I’m pretty sure that’s what I taught my kids at Sunday School.
Victory for all womankind!
ACKCKKK!! Are all men born with the sock flaw? My hubs has it too… except he wears the ankle kind – virtually impossible to tie a knot in. DAMN IT! I lose. Still.
Mary Beth recently posted..Obama Rally in Richmond Virginia – a Photolog {10.25.2012}
Hahaha, I love reading about your marriage. It is funny and inspirational all at the same time.
Julia recently posted..Halloween Decorations
Did I ever tell you about the time I asked my husband to please untangle his black socks from his tighty whiteys before throwing them in the hamper and the next time I rummaged, I found one black sock tied to each leg hole?
I lost. But I laughed.
Lady Jennie recently posted..Autumn Glory
Oh yes, and the time I screamed and the whole family came running because he didn’t see me rounding the corner and I took the underwear full-on in the face as he threw it into the hamper?
Lady Jennie recently posted..Autumn Glory
{ 1 trackback }