I wasn’t planning to take this hurricane seriously because we survived 6 days without power last year and for that amazing feat I got my photography posted all over the country while wrapped in power cords seated my portable generator.
Plus, we removed a giant dying tree from our front yard last week so we probably won’t die, but Sandy has an amazing PR team, and when they renamed it FRANKENSTORM, I was hooked. I just can’t resist an apocalyptic storm prep…
1. We bought more water (our zombie water leaked), and I hid it all over the house in case we are trapped in the bathroom and can only reach Harry Potters bedroom.
2. We have antibiotics to stave off infection when the hospitals are overrun because my kids had strep throats for the first time 10 days ago and I became convinced I had it. A negative strep test later that my husband barely survived proved I just needed a nap, but I got a bag full of antibiotic samples out of it.
3. We can live on Pop Tarts and Balance bar to get all our vitamin and mineral needs (IT SAYS SO ON THE BOX).
4. My kids’ school is already canceled (it hasn’t even rained yet), I am fully prepared to entertain them with games such as PRETEND A TREE IS FALLING INTO THE ROOM YOU’RE IN NOW RUN AWAY and MOM IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WHAT DO YOU DO (the latter one also allows me to nap).
5. We also cleaned up our yard so nothing we own would impale anyone. A plus, if that anyone is human. A minus, if it starts raining zombies or vampires. I also appreciated the email asking me to remove any possible campaigns signs from my yard (I have none — don’t be surprised. I’m pretty sure everyone in my neighborhood knows for whom I’m voting). I’d like to think this was a thoughtful gesture, but I can envision all too well what impaling the wrong person can do to one’s reputation.
6. We didn’t setup this tent specifically for Frankenstorm (it’s been up for weeks), but if this storm really goes super, we are all sleeping it.
Why will we all sleep under the great blue tent? Well mostly for our PR team pictures as we emerge from the rubble of this storm to make a new life for ourselves. A better life. One where we appreciate what Pop Tarts and Halloween and putting away the garden rake really means for me and you and 1/3 of the United States who are going through Frankenstorm.
And to the rest of the country and the world, who will in few days wish we would stop complaining? Don’t worry. We will. Once we get our Internet back.
PS. The awkward humor of this post is how I deal with weird giant storms. However, I am also thinking and praying for those who have been and will be seriously hurt by Frankenstorm. Laugh, pray, repeat would be my church’s mantra.