If Scott ever dies or dumps me, I’ve totally becoming an old school Vatican II nun. (I’m calling them old school because there’s a new conservative movement in the Catholic church that all OMG Vatican II went too far lets go hide away again in our nun habits and judge the poor people and Oh how I miss Latin. I guess those guys could be new old school and the Vatican II nuns could still be new school, but aren’t we just mincing words now?)
My new nun-ness is going to be awesome. I verified my plan with an NPR story, which we know how well my NPR-no-AC plan went so I’m all set to go! Once the kids are 18, I’ll be ministering to the voiceless in death row like in the movie Dead Man Walking or in the Marcy Projects like Jay-Z.
Honestly, Vatican II nuns are pretty much me without husband, kids and an iPhone. I believe in compassion for the compassionless, helping addicts instead of declaring war, and that people are inherently good (okay that last one isn’t quite Catholic with original sin and all but maybe we can find common ground in everyone is redeemable?). Also:
- Nuns live in crappy apartments in crappy neighborhoods. When I met Scott, I lived on a street that was routinely shut down by the police and my neighbor was killed in a drug gang hit. I’ll be right at home.
- Nuns love God. I love God.
- Nuns don’t wear habits. I don’t wear habits.
- Nuns think poverty is more important than “bedroom issue” (abortion, birth control, gay rights). I think poverty is important and the bedroom issues are misunderstood red herrings at best and intolerant hatred at their worst. Close enough.
- Nuns don’t have husbands. I won’t have a husband anymore and my kids will be old enough to let me get my nun on.
I really can’t see anything going wrong here.
Quick question: Can nun’s smoke about 1/2 pack a day? Because that’s my other plan when Scott dies.