The words of this phone text were originally posted as an unrelated “ps” to another post, which I’ve always regretted because it deserved better, and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with stuff to do so took the opportunity to give it a new home.
I probably don’t have to say this, but the text is from my husband.
Full translation: Attempted to clean bathroom – our daughter tried to drown. While comforting her, the cat jumped in and tried to drown. While frantically trying not to die, the cat decided that pooping in the tub might save his life. While trying to drain tub to clean cat poop, our son started screaming about not getting to take a bath. Then our daughter slipped and fell on the tile all wet from her and the cat. So – the bathroom and the kids will need to be cleaned tomorrow. Thanks. #oldcollegetry
I cried from laughing so hard and not just because nobody ever told me cat poop could be a viable lifesaving device.
Oh and I clearly made my husband send my the text again without our kids’ names because I’m weird about their names being in google searches or used in comments, but I like how the text looks on the phone rather than just written out and my Photoshop skills suck because I don’t actually have Photoshop. He’s such a good blouse.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
This is amazing. I love that Scott went to the effort of typing it out again for you!
He’s the best blouse ever. Also, his fancy phone has cut and paste so I emailed it to him to make it as easy as possible. But he still deserves credit. Maybe just for typing it out the first time
MY personal favorite part of this whole text transaction is that your husband is in your phone by first AND last name. Ha! I mean, sure, you might know more than one Scott, but I would have thought that he’d get dibs on the first name only contacts entry and all the others would be qualified by their surnames. Too funny!
I’m very particular about including all the correct information. In fact, I just realized that I’m in my own phone by first and last name. HA!
The cat pooping part made me dribble coffee all over myself.
Has anyone in the history of parenting ever received a funnier text? Probably not. Sorry you guys had a dirty bathroom (and dirty kids), but yay for us getting a good hoot from it!
I will not read anything funnier than this today, so I am quitting and going to bed.
Late Enough? You win the internet today.
Sincerely,
Sluiter Nation
Complete and utter awesomeness! By far the funniest text!
Bwahaha! I love that he added a hashtag.
I’m weird with the kids names too. It’s one of those things that I try not to think about too much.
I hope that you send him a picture of yourself laughing…
And then cracking open a beer.
I’m mean like that.
“The bathroom and the kids will need to be cleaned tomorrow.” *SNORT* This is the awesomest text ever.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall…
That is some serious commitment to texting. I especially love, “Our daughter tried to drown.”
The funniest text I ever got from my husband was when he was treating himself to an afternoon movie matinee and texted me from the theater: “Spider Man, Magic Mike, or Katy Perry movie… what to see?”
It was just last week. Because he only recently started texting. Bless his heart.
Sounds like Scott had a rough night. It is one of those moments that you wish you could have seen…
The resending of the text earns him all sorts of extra blouse points.
PSAs now need to happen with the important information that we all need to keep a cat with us at all times for possible cat-poop-life-saving-moments.
That’s about the funniest thing I’ve read. What a brave cat.
Cat poop in the tub – now that’s a new one! Hilarious!
That is hysterical!!!
This is hilarious, longest text ever but I appreciate that he shared the whole story yet did not have a chance to go back and clean the bathroom. Because that would be my husband too.
Only you. Only in your house.
Well mine too I suppose, if only we had animals.
Another classic Poop Post. I was going to ask what a “blouse” was. Could it be a blogger’s spouse? Why did the bathroom have to be cleaned “tomorrow” rather than then and there? Why is there a turtle under your coffee table? That’s so cool that I want one.
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