Processed Food Is Way More Gross Than Processed Hair

As I’ve talked about 600 times in the last 2 week, I got my hair done in multiple, drawn-out, steps mostly to have a hair style at BlogHer ’12 that felt like ME.

Here is the entire artistic endeavor (also me trying Storify for the first time. If you can’t see all the pictures and commentary, click here):

By the way, when my hair was going from gross to brown and blonde, I was silently loving my hairdresser because she doesn’t talk much or make me talk much and enjoys doing weird thing to my hair, too. But we surprisingly broke our usual silence to talk about food or, more accurately, to talk about how pesticide-ridden and over-processed food is.

Hairdresser: Changing my diet made a huge difference in how I feel and my health.

Me: I can totally see that. We are still adding less-processed food, but we’ve been eating organic for years. I just found a chart, which shows what fruits definitely need to be bought organic if you want it.

Hairdresser: Oh, that would be great. I just can’t believe what people are willing to put in their bodies.

Me: I’ve read a worldwide study on different food cultures and the only groups to have a decrease in heart disease, diabetes, etc, ate unprocessed foods. Fat content, carbs and protein amounts didn’t matter. It was just the unprocessed-ness. We try hard to follow that, but it’s difficult. At one point we were shopping at multiple stores every week!

Hairdresser: Yup, I have to go to the farmer’s market and the grocery store. Plus, I’m a pain at restaurants. It took a long time to be willing to make all these changes, but anytime I go back on it, I feel physically horrible.

Me: {sigh}

Hairdresser: Okay, let’s move over here while everything sets.

And by “everything” she meant the creepy chemicals that drip down my face to turn my hair different colors because I hate going gray so young.

The irony made me hope there weren’t any other bloggers getting haircuts that day because I would’ve totally mocked that hypocritical crap.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

29 thoughts to “Processed Food Is Way More Gross Than Processed Hair”

  1. As an early gray, but also crazy organic mom, I think you are totally right. The chemicals on our hair are nothing compared to what we eat. 🙂

  2. Your hair is AWESOME. I wish I could do something cool like that, but it’s not “classroom friendly.” REH. The edgiest I’ve gone is dark brown with copper highlights.

  3. I’m glad you did this, not only because it looks good but because it WILL make you easier to spot at BlogHer. My vision is horrible and I see colors and shapes much better than faces. Contacts don’t work for me and I feel much cooler driving my CRV with the booster seat while wearing big sunglasses and listening to loud music…with my 6 yr old (he’s a big fan of Flo Rida). Can’t wait to “see” you at BlogHer 🙂

  4. Lately, I’ve been finding grays in the very front of my hair – the general bangs area, if you will. And not little gray hairs, but big, long vibrantly silver grays that have the coarse texture of pubic hair.

    I made it 37 years without one gray hair and now suddenly I have long, silver pubes growing out of my head.

    But I refuse to get my hair highlighted or colored until the pube grays become really noticeable, like, ALL THE TIME. I love my hair color and don’t ever want to mess with what God gave me.

    Until the pube grays take over, of course.

  5. Isn’t it a good send when the hairdresser doesn’t want to talk? I’m not a small talk person & when I’m at the salon or getting my nails/toes done I just want to get in a zone of silence with a book or something. I love my hairstylist because we never talk & that is just fine by me.

  6. The picture of you laying with hair spread out: GREAT NEW PROFILE PIC! Just my suggestion… I can go a full year before cutting my hair because I’m so neglectful and “hair”? I’m just not much of a fusser, I just wish it didn’t show so much you know?

  7. I started going gray in my twenties. I always said I would dye my hair hot pink or blue as soon as I didn’t need to be taken “seriously” anymore. Here I am at home with my daughter, no job to worry about and I still haven’t done it. I’m such a wimp! Maybe someday soon I’ll give it a whirl. Right now I am just living vicariously through you. Glad to see you rockin’ a cool look for Blogher. I hope your hair helps you meet lots of new friends.

    P.S. The whole time I am reading your blog I hear a woman talking about…Mayonaise I think? I can’t find a video or anything. Where is that coming from?

  8. I’ve already told you how much I love it. Now I’ll just repeat myself. Over and over and over again. I LOVE it.

    I also want red streaks but to match my blog, I’d have to add teal as well and then I’d also match my kitchen. And my living room. Which would elevate me to the “crazy” level of coordination.

    Still…I wonder if I’d blend in enough to be difficult to find…might be worth it.

    1. Red is my favorite color; hence, red on my blog, my hair, my iphone case, lots of my clothing, etc… although I am worried that I will look like a giant Popsicle in my long red dress and new hair. I did work my way to red though so maybe start with red and work your way to teal?

  9. Okay, chemicals in your hair (which is dead) is totally different than chemicals in your intestines (which, hopefully, are still very much alive). So, there’s no hypocrisy there.

    …Says the girl who first noticed her gray streak at the age of 22 and refuses to eat any meat that’s been treated with growth hormone…

    I wish I was going to BlogHer this year to see your hair and be socially awkward with you, in person!

    Oh– and for those of who are in the market for a silent stylist? Look into getting a guy. Having a stylist of the male persuasion has completely helped me avoid small talk and gossip for a year. Whenever we talk, it’s about baseball.

  10. Your hair looks awesome! And I actually don’t think it’s that hypocritical… to me, it seems like what you put in your body has way more of an impact than what you put on your hair. But I’m not the doctor, you are 😉

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