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Mama, All I Want Is A New Bed Before I Am Dead

by Alex Iwashyna

in My Daughter, WTH

While laying in bed, my 3-year-old, N, turns to me and says: I want a new bed that’s REALLY BIG and has a REALLY TALL ladder.


So your current big enough bed with a ladder isn’t good enough?

Me: I’ll keep that in mind when we go to buy you guys new beds.

N’s eyes light up: New beds!?!

My eyes roll IN MY MIND since we just bought her bed LAST YEAR.

Out-loud I say: Well, it won’t be for a long time.

N’s face falls and softly she sighs: Like when we’re dead?

WTH, why does every other conversation include death.

Me: No sweetie, before you’re dead.

N jumps out of bed and fist pumps: YES!

Well, that was easy. Except that I have to find a 20 foot high, queen-size bunk bed and a cathedral ceiling in the next 80 years.

Maybe I can just hire these guys (click here if you can’t see the world’s biggest bed jump video)

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Mandy June 28, 2012 1


I love long deadlines. ;)


Late Enough June 28, 2012 2

It better be a long deadline.


Kristin June 28, 2012 3

Kids, ha! Also I am not showing my kids that video.


Late Enough June 28, 2012 4

It’s kinda hilarious even without kids watching with you.


Itsadomelife June 28, 2012 5

Your child has invented the mother of all guilt trips. How can anyone ever say no to the whole “before I die” thing? I think I am going to start using that one on my husband. I’ll let you know if it works. It’s pretty obvious that your child is a genius – take notes for me!


The Mommy Psychologist June 30, 2012 6

Love the – “do I have to wait until I’m dead.” Please don’t tell Gus that one. I know it would become a favorite.


Katie July 1, 2012 7

I feel that this phase will be coming soon. E has started to ask questions about why his Papa and his cat can’t come visit us from heaven the way his other family can come over to visit.

and then he saw a dead mouse on Wednesday at my parents’ house. Every night before bed we talk about that dead mouse.


Leigh Ann July 1, 2012 8

Or check out the Red House Furniture Store. (Seriously, google it.)


Late Enough July 1, 2012 9

Dude, I don’t even know what’s going on in this commercial for Red House Furniture but it made me happy


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