Mama, All I Want Is A New Bed Before I Am Dead

While laying in bed, my 3-year-old, N, turns to me and says: I want a new bed that’s REALLY BIG and has a REALLY TALL ladder.

So your current big enough bed with a ladder isn’t good enough?

Me: I’ll keep that in mind when we go to buy you guys new beds.

N’s eyes light up: New beds!?!

My eyes roll IN MY MIND since we just bought her bed LAST YEAR.

Out-loud I say: Well, it won’t be for a long time.

N’s face falls and softly she sighs: Like when we’re dead?

WTH, why does every other conversation include death.

Me: No sweetie, before you’re dead.

N jumps out of bed and fist pumps: YES!

Well, that was easy. Except that I have to find a 20 foot high, queen-size bunk bed and a cathedral ceiling in the next 80 years.

Maybe I can just hire these guys (click here if you can’t see the world’s biggest bed jump video)

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

9 thoughts to “Mama, All I Want Is A New Bed Before I Am Dead”

  1. Your child has invented the mother of all guilt trips. How can anyone ever say no to the whole “before I die” thing? I think I am going to start using that one on my husband. I’ll let you know if it works. It’s pretty obvious that your child is a genius – take notes for me!

  2. I feel that this phase will be coming soon. E has started to ask questions about why his Papa and his cat can’t come visit us from heaven the way his other family can come over to visit.

    and then he saw a dead mouse on Wednesday at my parents’ house. Every night before bed we talk about that dead mouse.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.