5 Things I Did Yesterday That You Didn’t

My high expectation for Monday was to take care of my daughter and her cold by letting her watch too much TV while I played on my computer. Glorious.

Instead, I did at least 5 things in the last 24 hours that you didn’t do:

1. I saved a freezer full of breast milk by loaning my portable generator to a neighbor EVEN THOUGH MY POWER IS OUT, TOO. I’m hoping for cookies since my friend pointed out that expecting to be given their next child as a thank you means I’d get stuck with a baby.

2. I was told by a therapist that I can start trusting myself more, which made me wonder if we were both talking about the same person.

3. I was attacked by a box full of magnets. It was like The Happening except I knew EXACTLY what was happening. Nature was trying to kill me by gusting plastic alphabet pieces at my face.

Don’t be fooled by my normal messiness. These magnets were on that window sill moments ago.

4. I answered the phone for an unknown New Jersey number because I thought it was the New York Times and/or Huffington Post calling me, but it was just my son’s godfather using his landline. And by “just” I mean “just as good.” Probably.

5. Fine, Scott did the last one: He bought The Chronicles of Narnia audio book for $41. Seriously, NO ONE DOES THAT FOR A REASON. (Psst, the reason is: Audio books are weird and difficult to follow. Ooh, that’s 2 reasons.)

Everything else I did Monday, I’m pretty sure you did, too. Like eating and sleeping and showering and finding people annoying.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

19 thoughts to “5 Things I Did Yesterday That You Didn’t”

  1. Wait, I forgot. Number two made me laugh out loud. This behavior in the morning confuses and upsets my Significant Other. As a sidebar, MY THERAPIST says that three more visits and I get sharp stuff again.

  2. Oh, sure. Make yourself out to be the hero because you’re the only one who saved a freezer of breast milk yesterday.

    OK, that’s way cooler than anything I did yesterday. (No pun intended. Really.)

    Maybe you’ll get cookies and (breast) milk?

  3. Audio books ARE weird, but when one is stuck in a car for an hour a day, one is forced to deal with the weird in order to stop listening to the Big Kahuna talk on the radio about his issues with eating bean burritos.

    Trust me.

    It makes audio books not quite so weird.

  4. Good grief, did EVERYONE in Richmond lose power yesterday? My parents were out running errands at the time and said everywhere they went, the power was out (and they lost theirs, too). Just how bad was this storm, anyway? I feel like we missed out – we left around 10:30 and never even hit any rain.

    1. The storm had gusts up to 80 mph, hale and dropped a tornado or 2. Some people won’t get their power back until Thursday. The weather is totally creepy recently.

  5. I can’t remember what I did in the last 24 hours so I am just going to assume it was something great so I don’t have to feel all boring when I compare my life to yours. I can say, with confidence, that my house is at least as messy as yours minus the alphabet letters (we need some of those!).

    I can’t listen to audio books. I day dream too much.

    Your neighbor is lucky to have such good friends. If I were her, I would never move away.

  6. For the record, I absolutely did NOT shower on Monday.

    p.s. I hope those cookies won’t be made with breast milk. But that was very nice of you. Especially since you were all showered up with no power.

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