Stop Voting To Ban Gay Marriage

I felt sad for North Carolina as I learned of the passing of Amendment 1, which adds a ban to same-sex unions into the state constitution, even though it was already banned through North Carolina law.

One of the gravest dangers in a democracy is the tyranny of the majority. Merely because there are more of one group of people than another, does not mean that group is always right or just. How many people would vote to increase the speed limit just to get to work faster if they weren’t educated on the danger? This is why we have fetters in place such as anti-discrimination laws, court systems and a constitution.

Most people didn’t bother to vote anyway: out of the 6.3 million registered voted in North Carolina, only 2.1 million people voted. (source) I don’t know how state and local politics could do a better job reaching out to citizens and encouraging them to participate since our state and local officials affect our lives more often than federal mandates. And if we were more active in local politics, we wouldn’t need as many federal laws because I can’t believe that a well-educated populace would vote for hate.

Even putting aside people’s reasoning for being against gay marriage why didn’t more wonder why the constitution needed to be altered for the first time in 40+ years and the first time on marriage in 100+ years (the last time being an 1875 amendment to ban interracial marriage)? Is gay marriage a fundamental crisis which destroys the governmental ideals of the state of North Carolina? No, it is at most a religious crisis with no place in government. An issue that should be worked out in our hearts, prayers and pulpits.

The vast majority of people, who voted for Amendment 1, cited God’s law and the Bible as their reasoning, which to me, is another example of uneducated decision-making. Sexual identity wasn’t even considered until the 1800s so the Bible couldn’t have much to say on the subject that hasn’t been twisted to meet people’s intolerant needs.

The Bible does mention marriage quite a bit though:

Biblical Marriage
I've had this infograph for so long that I don't remember who made it. If it was you, let me know so I can give you credit.

If a Christian cannot pick and chose in the Bible, then Christians, especially those who supported or voted for Amendment 1, need to stop picking and choosing.

Stop saying that slavery is wrong:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as you obey Christ; not only while being watched, and in order to please them, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. Ephesian 6:5-6

Stop ignoring the passages on subjugating women and start believing in abuse:

If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman’s virginity was not found, then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house and the men of her town shall stone her to death, because she committed a disgraceful act in Israel by prostituting herself in her father’s house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. Deuteronomy 22:20-21

But we don’t. We set those aside. We explain them away. But we can’t do that for homosexuality because… well, why? Why can’t Romans 1:26-27 be against lust, not homosexuality with commitment and accountability?

For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error. Romans 1:26-27

What does that passage have to do with marriage? Little or nothing to me, a Christian with a strong faith and a supporter of gay rights.

I feel heartbroken for the people of North Carolina. For those who are gay and lesbian, and for those who carry such intolerance in their hearts that they needed to twice put this so-called “sin” on the ballot and vote for it.

I think my 3-year-old daughter said it best when she reached up to our rainbow flag as I said, You love purple, and she responded: I love all the colors, Mama.


Me too, baby. Me, too.

3:30pm update: President Obama backs gay marriage. He’s the first sitting president to do so.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

29 thoughts to “Stop Voting To Ban Gay Marriage”

  1. The passage of this amendment makes me want to cry. I’m in such shock that our society has completely forgotten what our founders tried so hard to fight – religious tyranny. Anyone who belives this is not tyrany needs to check out the definition, because if this isn’t unjustly severe or oppressive rule, I don’t know what is.

    “It is of great importance in a republic not only to guard the society against the oppression of its rulers, but to guard one part of the society against the injustice of the other part… In a society under the forms of which the stronger faction can readily unite and oppress the weaker, anarchy may as truly be said to reign as in a state of nature, where the weaker individual is not secured against the violence of the stronger.” – James Madison, The Federalist Papers

  2. This really saddens me. I simply can’t understand why anyone would think passing a law or adding an amendment like this would be right. It is hate and selfishness and wrong.

  3. I couldn’t agree more Alex. I was born and raised in NC, I still live here, and for the first time I feel ashamed of where I live. I, too, am a Christian who is a supporter of gay rights, well really, rights for all. Hell that’s what this country was founded on, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It makes me sad that my state is now telling people “well, you can pursue happiness but only as long as it “fits” within our standards. I, however, will go against that norm, I will teach my kids that love is love, no matter who it may be for or with.

  4. Yup. Everything you said. Everything.

    Religion these days seems to be a myriad of picking and choosing. The saddest part is that most of the churches here were the biggest proponents of passing the amendment. I can at least say that my county voted AGAINST.

  5. You are so right, of course.

    And I am happy she loves all the colors. My own girl tells me her favorite color is “rainbow” sometimes; she can’t choose just one and sees the beauty in all of them. Hopefully I can raise her to see the beauty in all people as well.

  6. You know how we cringe and shake our heads in disgust when we watch those videos of african americans being beaten, sprayed, bitten by dogs, and discriminated against 50 plus years ago? That’s how our childrene and grandchildren will react when they see how we treated same sex couples and gay people in general.

    I have to travel to NC this week and next for business. I may use my car as an underground railroad. But I live in georgia. we’re just as bad.

    your children are beautiful. I’m so glad our offspring reject hate.

  7. This could also fall under your last post…”um, your doing it wrong.” because people are dumb and doing life wrong by voting for hate.

  8. I’ve often said that marriage is not something to be argued by the government. Personally, I don’t want Uncle Sam meddling in my relationships whoever they’re with. The issue then lies with the benefits married couples receive as a result of their union such as taxes, insurance, social security ect.

    But like you, I’m also a God-fearing Christian that supports Gay Rights. And as far as Obama’s support, I don’t think he would’ve said anything if Biden hadn’t forced his hand. It seems as if he’s using this community as a platform during this election year.

  9. This. A thousand times this. As a bisexual woman who lives in a very tolerant city, it makes me sick that this kind of blatant discrimination still exists in the world in this day and age. What will it take to make people see that we are all equal, regardless of sexual orientation?

  10. WARNING! We are dangerously close to agreeing. Isn’t that the point to your question? The mere act of voting forces a choice. Choosing creates division. Nobody should be voting on anything. The Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title VII clearly defines discrimination due to race but sex as well. We shouldn’t be voting about what marriage is. The debate about what SEX is should be in the courts, not the voting booth or in the pew.

    Politicians and activists are trying to pick a fight . Both are vying for the power of the voting booth. Because of all the rancor, the issue will probably be decided in the voting booth. The real answer IMHO is “Man and Woman” should be changed to “Two adults” and be done with this. This is why I feel “Gay Rights” is an artificial construction of activists. It’s “Human Rights”, always has been (well…since 1964) and always should be.

  11. Amen! As a North Carolinian and a Christian, I sickened and saddened by the passing of this amendment but I knew it was going to happen. There were “Vote for Holy Matrimony” signs all over half the yards in the small town I live in and I am definitely in the minority with my beliefs. So very sad.

  12. I’m fascinated by that infograph – thank you for sharing it. I just shared this post on Facebook and, as I said there, true, gay marriage is not included in the Bible’s various depictions of marriage. But then, do we really want to take at face value the word of a source that decrees a rape victim must marry her rapist?

    Great post, Alex. I also like your take on the Romans scripture. And I love what your little girl said. 🙂

  13. I love that graphic, and I love everything you write on the topic of acceptance. I can only hope that activism will get these sad laws reversed.

  14. This. “One of the gravest dangers in a democracy is the tyranny of the majority.” Agreed 100%.

    I don’t think we could easily change people’s “personal” opinions unless they’ve gone through some significant life event/encounter. Nevertheless, I wish they would all get what Harry Reid said: “My personal belief is that marriage is between a man and a woman. But in a civil society, I believe that people should be able to marry whomever they want, and it’s no business of mine if two men or two women want to get married. The idea that allowing two loving, committed people to marry would have any impact on my life, or on my family’s life, always struck me as absurd.”

  15. Well said. Perfectly said. Sadly, very sadly, I have some relatives in NC that supported and voted for Amendment 1. I’m trying to figure out how to get them removed from my family tree!!

  16. It’s sad that NC feels to need to amend thier own personal constitution while completely going against the Constitution of the USA. Seperation of Church and State, it means our kids can’t say the the Pledge of Allegiance in school because the word “god” is in it. So rather than realize that naturalized citizens say this pledge more than born Americans, we make it “wrong”. Since most of the votes were based on “god’s law” and self interpreted Bible readers…Kepp your Church out of my politics, or pay taxes and be a contributing member of business society.

  17. I’ve so wanted to write about this, but can’t manage to string my thoughts together in a coherent manner because it gets me so worked up. Thank you for putting it down in words.

  18. So I want to marry my sister and two of her friends at one time. Should be no problem, right? Now that you change the definition of marriage, the sky’s the limit. Marry my dog, no problem! Who are you to judge? Marry a toddler, good for me! By what unchanging, objective standard do you deny me this right to love whom I choose. Oh, and I trim my sideburns and wear cotton poly-blend shirts so murder and theft are ok, right? Stop mis-using the Bible to justify gay marriage by pointing out the apparent contradictions in the Old Testament. You don’t understand the purpose, the need or what the levitical law prefigured. You retroject 21st century norms on a 6000 year old document without considering the times in which they were given. Your arguments impress only those who are predisposed to your viewpoint.

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