For Spring Break, we took the kids on a survivalist trip to teach them how to live through Armageddon 2012.
Yes, I know the Mayan calendar didn’t take leap year into account so the predicted apocalypse was back in 2010. Or so they pretended right before their civilization was destroyed. A big old Screw you suckers. Nice try, Mayans, but we clearly didn’t implode in 2010 so I KNOW it’s coming.
When my kids found out there was no television? They cried. In their defense, we only told them that day. I had weeks to alternatively cry, shake, and puke at the idea of no cell phone or Internet access.
Instead we each discovered our armageddon skills.
We learned to forage for food.
My daughter also doubles as a blanket. And a survivalist ninja.
I will build the fires. Probably way more than we need because it’s so much fun.
Scott will attempt to kill us multiple times. I’m not a huge fan of his talent.
We also fought off 3 spiders, a moth that looked like a flower and a black snake, which was longer than N. And by “fought off,” I mean caught in a cup and released into the woods, took photos of, and avoided like the plague, respectively.
PS. There was a crow the size of a cat stalking us during the trip, which I did take personally.