My husband has a pretty hard time with our school’s Dads Night. And by “hard,” I mean “hilarious to me” but also “HUGS SCOTT.”
Dads Night is the students’ opportunity to take their fathers to school in the evening to show off their classroom and favorite activities. It sounds so sweet and innocuous.
The first year, E won’t let Scott into the classroom. Yup, all the other dads are sitting down with their sons and daughters working and oohing and aahing. My son gets to the door, turns to Scott and says: Bye, Dada.
Scott: Tonight, I get to go in with you!
E: No.
Scott: But see look at all the other dads in the room. Remember? IT’S DADS NIGHT! {insert jazz hands} {probably}
E {over his shoulder while running to the other side of the room}: Nope.
Scott sidles in anyway. E notices and begins to cry.
Scott spends the rest of the hour standing by the classroom door. E occasionally waves.
This year, E is older and wiser, but we have a new snafu. His sister also has Dads Night that evening. Theirs are at the same school but at same time so we prep them in advance that they will each get 30 minutes in their classroom. Scott decides N’s room will be first because we may never get E to leave and N might insist on staying as well because she has the obsessed-with-my-older-sibling thing going on to the point that she asked to invite all E’s friends to her birthday party instead of her own.
Everyone is on board, excited and off they go.
My phone rings 20 minutes later.
Scott: Guess who is crying in the car?
Me: Um…
Scott: Did you guess EVERYONE?
E: I’M NOT CRYING ANYMORE.
Me: What? Why is everyone crying?
Scott: That’s a good question. Why are we crying again?
E: I’M NOT CRYING ANYMORE.
Scott: I think it went something like N cried about coming back to school, E threatened her with expulsion from the family if she didn’t go to Dads Night and she respond by yelling: I’M NOT ON YOUR TEAM E. Then E started crying.
E: I’M NOT CRYING ANYMORE.
N: I’m still crying.
Me: Happy Dads Night!
Scott: Thanks.
Scott eventually got into the classroom with not-crying kids. And everyone went home with a stomach virus.
Moms Night is going to rock. Seriously, because I can only go up from here.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh poor Scott. Maybe each year it will just get better and better? And yes, your mom’s night is totally going to be the best. Ashlyn gives me the “you have to come with me but don’t come near me because I have to do things the same way I do them every other day when I’m at school” treatment too. Luckily parent nights are few and far between in high school.
We homeschool. So, by the time I get home from work, my wife hands me the kids and says, “They’re yours now. I’m going to bed.” Alas, my dad’s night..except I’m the one doing the crying.
You know, I always thought of Scott as a jazz hands kind of guy.
Oh God, I’d be dreading Mom’s Night!
Ill be super impressed if he goes for the hat trick next year.
Ah, the insane emotions of special occasions. Like how the birthday girl/boy always cries. Usually the crying goes away for special nights in elementary school – so there is hope for you all.
Wow. Jazz hands and all.
Tell Scott next time to bring home art work, not a tummy bug. No need to share the pain.
Don’t you love how, no matter what time of year, you always manage to pick up some kind of bug whenever you walk into the doors of a school? Yeah…that rocks. Also…poor Scott. LOL
Strange that they schedule them at the same time- there have to be a lot of parents with kids in both classes. When is mom’s night? I hope it goes better!
Ooooooh, I don’t even now where to begin with a comment. This is too funny. The mental imagery alone was enough to make me snort aloud a few times. Poor dads. (riiiiiight)
LOL…my husband would then use that as an excuse to NEVER do another Dad’s night for anything…he’d throw it in their faces like, “Remember the last time and you both cried and then we ended up puking and pooping all night? Yeah, we are not going…instead let’s get froyo so everyone can have tummy aches anyway since we’re all lactose intolerant and it will be more fun.” To me he would ask if Moms could go instead.
Sorry for their misery but I was howling with laughter..and I really needed that!
Oh, my! This is awesome.
Although, I have to say one thing. It’s always Muffins with Mom. Dad’s get nights, pizza, field day, but all I ever get is muffins. School administrators need to be made aware. I’d like some pizza, please!
This made me laugh.
And then cry.
And I’m not a dad. But I do work at a school.
I cannot even imagine Cort having the patience to STAY at Dad’s night if there were tears.
but I DO imagine him using jazz hands.
Because real men? use jazz hands.
I’ll be on E’s team.
Not that this would be any consolation to him.
Hilarious post. And since Jack FORBADE me from coming to his school’s science fair, I can relate.
On the upside, I didn’t have to shower.
I feel much better now! Thank you! My 4 year old had parent-child night at school last week that went about like yours. All the other littles were showing their parents what they do in the classroom each day, except mine, of course. She wanted to sit in a chair just outside the classroom and pout until the last 2 minutes when she decided that she wanted to show me everything, and then cried that she did not have time to show me anything. Ugh!!!
This sounds like a night my Scott would have with our kids. When our kids are the same age as your kids, one of our kids was always in tears at bedtime… usually the one who Scott got to put to bed. The only positive is that now that the kids are 6 and 8, things are a lot smoother when it comes to these things. So just tell him to keep up hope!