My Son Has An Alarm Clock. Send Help.

My 5-year-old sets an alarm. Everyday. For 6:30 a.m.. I can’t believe I haven’t put out this S.O.S. sooner.

It all started the week before daylight savings time. My 5-year-old asked to set his alarm. Specifically he asked to set it daily for 6:30 a.m. proving that morning person genes are much strong than night owl genes and also making me tear up when I heard the plan.

The child was lucky to have asked Scott-the-morning-person when I-the-hater-of-mornings wasn’t around because I would’ve NEVER gone for it. But Scott thought 1) E is usually awake before 6:30 anyway and 2) E said it would make him less nervous when he woke up in the night whether it was time to wake up.

The second reason is particularly hard to say no to, but I would’ve found a way because the idea of a 5-year-old with a 6:30 alarm is RIDICULOUS.

But no one cared what I thought so we began the alarming experience (heh) with the caveat that on daylight savings time day, it would be set for 7 a.m.. I’m like the democrats in congress with this deal, but whatever.

Now every morning at 6:30, E comes bounding into our bedroom. I’m already awake now that I’m on the 6am-insomnia-sucks regime, so I can’t kick Scott out of bed to go ENJOY the Scott-sanctioned alarm situation. The only positive is that my son and I get some one-on-one time together because my daughter loves to sleep in (and by “sleeping in” I mean 7:30 a.m. — how sad.)

Okay fine, even a grumpy morning person can admit these moments are nice.

Until last night…

Scott leans down to set the alarm and E says sadly: Dada, don’t. Turn it off.

Scott: Why?

E: {sigh} Everyday it’s the same thing over and over. 6:30. 6:30. 6:30. I always know what the day will be like.

My first thought: My kid’s going to hate being a grownup.

E continues: It’s just so boring, Dada. I only want the alarm on Sundays at 5:58 a.m. so I can watch the silly bird show (translation: watch Peep and the Big Wide World)

And of course, Morning Sunshine Scott agreed.

Awesome. Sunday mornings will now begin for before my alarm. I’m not even sure a good cartoon can make up for that. Well, at least my son and I have six other days filled with the non-alarm excitement of WHEN WILL E WAKE UP?

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

11 thoughts to “My Son Has An Alarm Clock. Send Help.”

  1. My kid wakes up regularly at 530 EVERYDAY. No alarm needed. Even worse, is she will insist YOU get up, turn on the tv for her and cover her up with a blanket. I figure if she wants to get up, fine….but don’t wake ME

  2. This is just too funny. Sorry none of it ever worked out for you and your mornings.

    I just remind myself that one day they will be teenagers and will sleep past noon – and I will let them because they never slept past 6:30 for so long.

  3. That is an amazing picture of you with E! I agree that a child with an alarm clock would be a very scary reality. I fine with getting up early if it’s on my own terms. That cracks me up at why he stopped though! Hahahaha!!

  4. I blame my kids’ early rising on two things: 1) potty training, and 2) toddler beds. Before that I could ignore them and they would hunker back down in their cribs and pee in their pull ups.

  5. My son’s alarm clock is internal. 6:01 a.m. He knows that he’s not allowed to wake up until the first number on the clock is a 6 or we send him back to bed. Somehow he’s got it down to a science and shows up at 6:01 every single morning. I want those extra 29 minutes I’m supposed to get!

  6. The trick is to make sure they can work the TV or tablet and have a pre-made morning snack to hold them over until breakfast. Teach them to do that a couple mornings worth your help and enjoy your sleep.

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