Internet Fight Faces

Confessions Of An Internet Fighter

I’ll admit it. I’ve been fighting with people on the Internet again.

Internet Fight Faces

  • One person got mad at me for making fun of Richmond and suggested I move. I replied that the only fun Richmond has for a Yankee is getting on native Richmonders’ nerves so thanks for the highlight of my day.
  • I told 2 commenters on someone else’s post that they should be banned from going into public during family friendly hours (and then wrote an entire post about people I do want to ban, but that was funny, right?)
  • I had a woman whose son died call me a sick person and not because I get colds a lot. I managed to respond reasonably — mostly because the grieving-mother-part got through my screw-you mentality –and we worked it out as best an opinionated movie-watching blogger and a grieving mother can given the I’m-not-linking-to-the-post circumstances.
  • I corrected someone’s math on Twitter. Publicly and without remorse.
  • I was yelled at by 2 liberal tweeters for being happy that Susan Komen recanted their new (now old) position on Planned Parenthood funding. I fought back only to be informed: “All Republicans are liars.” I managed to restrain myself by this point since I was clearly dealing with geniuses beyond my intellectual capacity. Side note: 2 hours later one of them tweeted the komen recant story. The fact that I didn’t gloat should get me a pass on some these other confessions, but it probably won’t.
  • I mocked a complete stranger on Facebook who asked a question on someone else’s status. The next day, I apologized for being rude except she didn’t think I was being rude, which made me feel worse since I thought it was my superpower.
  • I took offense twice at a commenter. By the second one (many days later), I couldn’t stop myself from replying with multiple defensive karate chops only to reread her comment an hour later and realize that I had misread it. I cannot go into more details because having discovered that I’m not as good at offending people as I thought (see above confession), she may not know I was offended, and I’d like to keep her as a reader. Also, she’s good at picking fights with me and I seem to be in that kind of mood lately.

And these are only the ones I typed. I’ve also fought with a cat, three doors, a blanket, a tree, and I flicked off my laptop for running out of batteries.

Plus, I have countless more Internet fights that weren’t documented because they were interrupted by the kids, played out only in my head, or my husband summarily glared at me until I stopped recounting the story and backed slow away from my computer.

What’s the point?  Well, snide comments, misunderstood moments and feelings of justified anger happen sometimes. We’re not all trolls and bullies. Sometimes, we’re just people having a bad day, month or year. I didn’t go out to pick fights, but I’ve been stressed over the past few weeks and it’s coming out sideways. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until I thought: There cannot be this many hot button issues and annoying people on Facebook, Twitter and blogs. Wait… am I the common denominator? CRAP.

So thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt and I hate the rest of you.

Okay, fine, I’m still working on it.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

35 thoughts to “Confessions Of An Internet Fighter”

  1. Laughing out loud here. I love you. You wanna FIGHT? C’mon. Git ’em up. Just say YEAH, PERRY’S A GREAT GOVERNOR! or SURE, WE ALL OUGHTA GO BOMB IRAN. But that isn’t funny at all. Anyway I’ll get in a fight to back my right to want Perry out of office and driving a truck.

    1. Oh man, if I could find the on-off switch to this, I’d be awesome.
      Random jerk? On. Husband? Off. Driver speeding off in school parking lot? On. Crazy-eyed fool with a stick? Off.
      Instead I get beat with the stick and smile at the mom who tried to run me over. {sigh}

  2. i am RIGHT there with you. in fact, the two emotions on my little calendar that i keep on my desk to warn people have today been ‘cantankerous’ and ‘cranky’.

    i’m blaming it on the lack of caffeine in my life the past few days.

  3. Remind me to never get on your bad side.

    Although as a native Richmonder, I’m both protective of it, and therefore offended that you’d make fun of it, while also being completely understanding of WHY you’d make fun of it. Odd, no?

    BTW, how DID you make fun of it? I want to know if I’ve ever made fun of it for the same reason.

    And finally, common denominator or not, don’t beat yourself up over it. I’ve totally taken my pent-up anger and frustration out on people on the Internets before. I always feel stupid afterward, but hey… shit happens.

    1. I mostly made fun of Ukrops taking my grocery bags out (because they were STEALING THEM), everyone talking to me (I DON’T KNOW YOU), and how I’m not supposed to cross the rivah unless I want cheap fabric or a topiary (over the POOR WHITE PARKWAY).

    1. So you’re saying I’m not an Internet fighter, I’m a FREEDOM FIGHTER! Fighting for my freedom to be honest with people who don’t realize how important my opinion is. YET.

      1. “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” – Mark Twain

        Also, there is a lovely poem by Dr. M.C. Gupta called “Never Argue with a Fool.”

        It is best not to argue,
        But if you do at all,
        Never do so with a fool.
        A fool can defeat all.

        He does not care for the facts.
        He does not know debate.
        He’s a stranger to reason.
        Logic he can negate.

        In the end the fool will win,
        His logic is so strong!
        Decides what he does not like
        And then it must be wrong!

        It’s better to keep quiet,
        When challenged by a fool.
        Else, to prove his own wisdom,
        He will make you a tool.

        It is hence my policy,
        To not respond to those,
        Who ask questions not to learn,
        But to be bellicose.

  4. What a great post. I think there is something in the water because I have been a major crank lately too. For instance an ex-boyfriend posted this on my personal fb page last night, “Read some of your blog. Sounds like you are still trying to find your way. Good luck.” I took total offense to it (so dumb because I don’t even like him, we dated 10 years ago, and why are we even “friends”???). I smacked him around a bit with my linguistic skills and lots of eye rolling that he obviously couldn’t see only to wake up this morning feeling kind of sheepish. He responded with a gee whiz I was just complimenting you. Yeah, right! On second thought I’m glad my inner-angry-mob-voice snuck out last night. I’m tossing the nice girl persona, hand me my pitchfork.

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