I now have purple highlights.
Not only am I enjoying my daughter’s continued awe at my total awesomeness since purple is her favorite color, but as it turns out, purple highlights are the BEST DISGUISE EVER.
First, I’m walking down the sidewalk, and I make eye contact with a woman that I’m sure I know.
I run through my mental Rolodex of people (because my brain is from 1985) and BAM! I know her through an acquaintance, haven’t spoken in 2-3 years and am completely okay with not breaking our record.
BUT WE MADE EYE CONTACT AND SHE’S IN MY DIRECT PATH OF PURPOSEFULNESS.
With a sigh I ready myself for the
Except I look up and realize she can’t place me. She continues to glances towards me while chatting with a friend, but she isn’t sure if she knows me. Why would she know someone with purple hair?
I walk right past with nary a SO GOOD TO SEE YOOOUUUU in my wake.
Next, I walk into one of those stores where the sale people follow the customers around with the talking and the suggesting and the directing and the helping until I am forced to buy something or flee to my car with a million isn’t this adorable nipping at my heels.
Don’t get me wrong. I like helpful people, but when I need help, I ask. In fact, I’ve considering wearing that on a T-shirt in this particular store.
Until I got purple highlights.
Not a single salesperson spoke to me until I walked up to the cash register to ask if they had any boy’s valentine’s shirts after twenty minutes of wandering around the place. Twenty blessed minutes of browsing at my own quiet, aimless pace.
I’m completely invisible by being way too out there, and I’m pretty sure the FBI, CIA and Secret Service should take note because even their best agents couldn’t avoid telling those sale people the age, triumphs and failures of their children, neighbors and cars.
PS. At first, I found it odd that this didn’t happen with my mermaid hair, but who doesn’t have a thing for mermaids? No one, obviously.