One afternoon, I see a woman at the my son’s fun run who I haven’t seen in years. We were quite close back in the day, but since a thingthatIwontgointo, we’ve only spoken once or twice on Facebook. One of those Facebook times cleared the air and I still care about her, but I am so stressed about E’s first race that the prospect of starting a strained conversation is too much for my anxious self. Instead, I focus on my son and pretend I don’t see her.
The next morning, I awaken to a Twitter conversation between me and two other people. I join in, and while chatting, I click on one of the tweeters’ profiles only to find she recently unfollowed me. I scroll through our current conversation, and after double-checking that she is not the person who mentioned me in the first place, I immediately unfollow her. And since my unfollow is also saving face for her I shout at my iPhone YOU’RE WELCOME and go on with my day. And by “go on with my day” I mean “unfollow anyone else who hurts my feelings for the next five hours.”
I finally log off Twitter and within five minutes of leaving my house, I run into an acquaintance. This particular person has given me a very odd vibe on and off for years, but I recently decided it’s all in my head, and I’m excited for a chance to prove it to myself. So I smile at him and say, Hi. How are you? He, in turn, barely answers or makes eye contact, and he most certainly does not ask how I am doing although I’m pretty sure I would’ve answered by yelling: SOMEWHERE BETWEEN WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM, DUDE, AND OH MY GAWD, WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME?
After obsessing over every detail of my day for a while, I conclude that I must reach out to my friend who I ignored at the race. I must right my karmic wrong.
I dash over to my computer thinking: I’ll send her a Facebook message congratulating her on her run and apologizing for not saying hello!
Except I can’t.
Because she unfriended me.