my kids looking innocent photo

Maybe I Like Marching Around Mad

I watch my daughter run up and down the stairs. Each time she reaches the kids’ bedroom at the top of the stairs, she shouts, I didn’t get the right thing! and runs back downstairs

As she hurries past me for the third time muttering about the RIGHT THING, I decide to take action. I march over to the bottom of the stairs and yell up: E! What is the right thing? N and I don’t know, and I’m not having your sister run up and down the stairs again. E! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Get to the top of the stairs. I am not coming up there. I need you to get to the top of the stairs so we can figure out what the right thing is. Where are you? EEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I holler and holler but no one comes and N gives me the WOWCRAZYLADY look while scurrying past me and shouting: I FOUND THE RIGHT THING!

I don’t hear my son respond to her — not a Great! or a Thank you! or a Wow, my sister is so amazing for getting that for me.

So I put my marching boots right back on and stomp up to the kids’ room.

Me: E! Why didn’t you come to the stairs when I yelled for you? You need to come when I call for you. Didn’t you hear me?

E: No.

Me: You didn’t hear me?

E: No, I didn’t hear you.

Me: Oh. Well, okay, makes sense that you wouldn’t come to the stairs then… Anyway, did you even thank your sister for getting you the right thing?

E: Oh, thank you, N!

Me: Your sister went up and down the stairs at least three times. That is really nice of her. Mama and Dada wouldn’t do that.

E: Well, that’s okay, N could go up and down the stairs A MILLION times if she wants! She can do it as much as she wants! I don’t mind! Right, N? You can go up and down those stairs as much as you want!


Me: {sigh} Forget it. I’m going back to yelling up the stairs where no one can hear me.

Both: Bye Mama!

my kids looking innocent photo
My kids look so innocent. DO NOT BE FOOLED.

PS. I still have no idea what THE RIGHT THING is. I was too busy marching around the house in a huff to remember to ask.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

14 thoughts to “Maybe I Like Marching Around Mad”

  1. Today my daughter claimed not to hear me three different times – when she was sitting right next to me. But let me mention pie, at a whisper, four rooms away…and she will hear me clearly!

    Maybe the right thing was pie?

  2. I LOVE that picture. N looking at E from the corner of her eyes and E with this “What?” look…love it. I had a crapola parenting day yesterday and had to ask forgiveness from my son. He so sweetly said, “Yes mommy. I forgive. But we don’t treat people like that.” gulp Thankful for a new parenting day today.

  3. Plop some blond wigs on those innocent faces and this could have been a picture of my kids at these exact ages.

    Right down to her sideways glance and his head tilt.
    Oh yeah.

    I’m pretty sure my son has his little sister running up and down the stairs as I type…

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