I love Christmas even more than Halloween. The tinsel, the presents, the lights, the joy, the mix of the material and the spiritual. The Caroling of Bells still brings me to tears. And so much red! My favorite color!
Which brings me to this: I fully support ignoring Thanksgiving. And yes, this is the first time that I have ever been at odds with Nordstrom.
Well, Nordstrom, if we’re only picking one holiday at a time to celebrate, I chose Christmas as does the background of your SIGN.
Besides the one awesome meal and a bit of gratitude, I don’t understand how to even spend the month celebrating Thanksgiving. So far I’ve seen Facebook statuses of gratitude, which I put a stop to last year, and Twitter trying to jazz up my stream with a #dayxofthanks to which I say: NO THANKS! I’M HAPPY ENOUGH PLANNING MY CHRISTMAS LIST.
What am I supposed to decorate with for Thanksgiving? Putting up turkeys seems more Halloween to me — I mean, do I add eulogies the day after we eat?
The Pilgrim/Native American dinner just seems depressing since I know how the story ends, and I’m not ready to expose my children to that level of human horror stories. As a matter of fact, when did Thanksgiving get so Halloween-y?
Look, I like celebrating things. My birthday lasts for a week and not just because my mom had a long labor. My kids have had at least two birthday parties every year and not just because my friends can’t get along. If Thanksgiving can’t step up and give me something to DO this month, I’m moving on to Christmas while finishing off my Halloween candy.
Why shouldn’t I put up my lights two months early? I want to enjoy them in proportion to the huge pain in the butt it is to string lights over seven bushes and five trees with a single outlet without burning down the house. That is at minimum sixty days of enjoyment, and I don’t want to keep them up until Valentine’s Day this year.
We also own hundreds of Christmas tree ornaments, have two children below the age of six and three cats. For every ornament broken last year, I plan to play my Christmas music a day earlier than Thanksgiving this year, which is why I’m starting tomorrow. (It was a rough year.)
Facts are facts: Thanksgiving needs to provide garlic mashed potatoes all month long; otherwise, it’s FALALALALA for all of November and no eye-rolling at my red and green jumper and inflatable Santa is going to stop me.