Glitter Floor photo

UPDATED: Give Me My Glitter

I decide to go to Staples (by myself this time) to get glitter because earlier in the day, my daughter and I went for a walk and found pine cones. I immediately thought of glue and glitter and when I voiced these thoughts aloud, my daughter eyes went GLITTERGLITTERGLITTER all the way home.  After much digging and lamenting, I realized we had no glitter in the house (embarrassing) and N went toddler sad on me.

So when Scott got home for lunch, I went on a glitter run.

Driving to Staples, I think of all the glitter colors I will buy. By the time I get to the Staples’ cashier, I have 6 glitter, 100-pack of construction paper, stickers that say AWESOME, 2 art pads, 2 Elmer glues, 5 glue sticks, cleaner for my computer screen and 2 microfiber pads. (In my defense, I did pass on the colored spiral index cards.)

As I’m checking out, I realize I have too much stuff to not use their plastic bags, but I decided to help out the environment by only using one. However, I notice my cashier is keeping the small cleaner bottle and two glues separate.

Me: You can put it all in one bag.

Cashier: Oh, I can’t do that.

Me: No, it’s okay.

Cashier: No, it’s not.

Me: Seriously.

Cashier: You’ll leave and the cleaner will spill and then you’ll come back and…

I admired him for stopping at COMPLAIN.

Cashier: …um, waste all that gas.

Me: Fine, I’ll put it in my pocket.

And then he refuses to hand me the single plastic bag until the receipt is in it.

When I arrive home and set up the glitter fun, I stop to tweet out:

Me to my kids: “A little glitter never hurt anyone…”

But before I could finish, my daughter spills red glitter everywhere.

Glitter Floor photo

Followed by gold.

Perhaps, I’ll drive by to Staples and complain.

UPDATED: I can’t believe I forgot to included the final product!  Of course, I can’t believe how many people like fart help.

Sparkly Pinecone Photo
Ooh, sparkly pinecones.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

14 thoughts to “UPDATED: Give Me My Glitter”

  1. Not seeing eye to eye on issues, one democrat and one a confused republican I can handle. But I do not like glitter. And I really liked you!

  2. I adore glitter. It’s magic fairy dust. However… little hands spread it to the four corners and then you find it in the oddest places.
    For inside glitter needs (and YOU understand we’ve got them!), we go with those glitter glue thingies. You get the bonus of improving hand muscles by squeezing them! And the loose glitter only comes out outside. Where it can sparkle in the dirt and make me happier.

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