new daddy email exchange photo

New Dad Applications Currently Accepted

The kids and Scott stop by the toy store on the way home from school.

E: We aren’t buying any toys right now?

S: No. We’re just wandering. The toys that you were looking at are too expensive, and we can’t buy something every time we go to a store, E.

E: That’s it. I’m getting a new dad.

Scott: Oh? What would he do?

E: He’d have lots of money. And he’d buy me toys. Actually, my new dad would let me do whatever I want … except play with you.

Scott: New Dad let’s you have and do everything except be with me?

N hears promise in this new dad: I’m going to start looking on Wednesday.

An hour after Scott drove back to work in the WHITE CAR, we had a great tragedy occur at our home. My son couldn’t find his favorite toys: 3 Star Wars Lego guys particularly his favorite Clone Wars character, Commander Cody.

So I emailed Scott…

new daddy email exchange photo

I hope E and N pick someone who cooks.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

14 thoughts to “New Dad Applications Currently Accepted”

  1. It kind of makes me feel sad for Scott. Although, first the princesses and now the Lego Star Wars guys, is this some kind of sabotage?

    1. I asked Scott why he didn’t reply to my second email, and he said that he was too busy crying. I felt so bad. Then he laughed and said: No, it was hilarious.

      Although now it’s more like SUSPICIOUS.

  2. LOVE IT! My four year old recently told my husband that he was going to find a new Dad also. Daddy had committed the cardinal sin of not giving the 4 yr old a cookie after dinner since he had not eaten at all. The 4yr old said his new Dad will give him nothing but cookies and buy him Thomas Toys. I said “Well what if Mommy loves this Daddy and does not like the new Daddy” and I was told “Well you will just have to deal with it”.

  3. hahaha. great post. That was very entertaining. It sounds like a Calvin and Hobbes comic. Your kids sound pretty sharp. I’d start worrying if they begin making disfigured snowmen this winter…

  4. Too funny. My kids are constantly threatening getting a new daddy and sometimes even want to replace me. Most of the time it is because we don’t buy them what they want or ask them to do really hard stuff like cleaning up the play room. They truly have a hard life.

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