Drawing of me laying down, my son standing and a bomb between us

My Son’s First Story: No Mama No Poo

As we drive home from school, I ask my son about the papers in his bag.

Me: What did you bring home today?

E: They’re my stories!

Me: Your stories?

E: Mama, I have thousands of stories to tell!

I smile: Me, too, babe. Me, too.

I call my husband to gush about E’s and my sweet connection. When we get to the house, I hustle us into the living room to sit down and enjoy our writer-to-writer generational moment.

Drawing of me laying down, my son standing and a bomb between us
My son is standing on the right, I'm laying down on the left, and there's a bomb between us.

E: So that’s you. You’re dead. And that’s the bomb that I exploded at you.

Me {faintly}: And what’s the writing part?

E: No Mama. No Poo.

Me: Well Hemingway, show me a writer without mommy-issues, and I’ll show you a writer with daddy-issues. Welcome to the club, kid.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

18 thoughts to “My Son’s First Story: No Mama No Poo”

  1. Is he imploring you not to poo? Is he declaring that he got rid of both mama and the poo? This story is way too deep for me.

    It’s great as a song, though. Sing it to the tune of “No woman, no cry.” Very catchy! I think it’s going to be stuck in my head all night.

  2. For some reason “No Woman, No Cry” is now running through my head, too. Just replace the words in the tune. Brilliant. Your kid rocks.

  3. Love it.

    I remember reading in a Mary Karr intro “show me the kids in today’s guidance counselor offices, and I’ll show you tomorrow’s authors.”

    Truer words…right?

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