Goat Alex Photo

I Am A Dissatisfied Goat

Scott and I head to a lovely wedding.

As the rain clouds cease in time for the outdoor ceremony by an idyllic farm house, I sigh and reach for my husband’s hand.

Idyllic Setting Photo
How lovely.

Scott looks over my shoulder and says: That goat is you.

Me: Hmm, yes honey. Wait, what?

I follow his gaze…

Goat Alex Photo
My goat self.

Me: What do you mean oh husband of mine at this romantic wedding?

Scott: Look at those other goats relaxing in the pen with all the lovely food and shelter already provided and minding their own goat business. Then there’s goat-you sticking her face outside of the pen to get the grass on the other side because it MUST BE BETTER and probably planning her escape to meet up with the horses and go cow-tipping.

Me: I’m a dissatisfied goat?

Scott: I think I should stop talking now.

Goat knows photo
I'm pretty sure the goat is nodding.

Welcome to marriage, my newlywed friends.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

23 thoughts on “I Am A Dissatisfied Goat

  1. I saw that goat…and thought almost the same thing – well not that it was you – but that it always seems the grass is greener… =) xo

  2. Goat-you isn’t trying to escape at all…she’s going back home after sharing interesting an hilarious stories of Outside The Pen with the other goats.

    Honey, you’ve never been “in the pen.” 😉 You’re just visiting.

  3. I love that comparison… now to figure out how I am going to start using that expression in everyday life.
    Seriously, you are not afraid to be creative to get what you want. You are a resourceful goat who is willing to try and find the hole in the fence so that you can taste the sweet grass on the other side. You are trying to show the rest of the goats that they do not need to be complacent and just have what the farmer gives them. That goat is a leader!
    By the way, I also love that image I have of the two of you taking pictures of the goats as the couple gets married. Priceless.

  4. I read this blog post to my husband and he roared with laughter. He’s always suffering from hoof-in-mouth (er, foot-in-mouth) disease so he could totally relate. Very funny.

  5. Yes, and this is the part of partnership I love best. The part about being able to talk about and say anything at all to one another. And laughing together.

    That’s the stuff isn’t it – goat and all? 🙂

  6. I love this, mostly because I am also that goat. I don’t know Scott very well but he seems to be big on metaphor. He once likened my husband’s demeanor to a smoldering cigarette which still has him puzzling and me laughing!

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