This is not a follow up to the princesses being stolen by Scott. They were given back to N at 5 p.m. after one look of death.
When I was a child, I made the mistake of watching the horror movie Child’s Play. Perhaps, I thought it would be about building forts and making crafts. Instead it was about a demonic a redheaded doll the size of a toddler named Chucky. And watching Chucky WITHOUT BATTERIES turn his head around and say: Wanna play? before trying to kill this kid’s parents is permanently seared into my brain.
Now as an adult, I attempt to stay levelheaded about the possibility of being attacked by one of my children’s toys. I mean, I’m consistently tripped by Thomas the Train tracks, bruised by small legos and blinded by blinking robot, but I usually chalk this up to being the MESSIEST PERSON I KNOW. And happily passing along this terrible trait to my children.
Until last week, when I received an email from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) that A DOLL WAS TRYING TO KILL CHILDREN.
And her evil sisters:
The Death Doll Family had not succeed but is being recalled for an attempt on a toddler. BY USING ITS HAIR.
The CPSC and I think a Killer Dolls’ Family Reunion into one singular place is going to lead to very very bad things so instead of returning the doll for a refund, a parent can take scissors to the dolls hair and CUT THE LOOPS OF TERROR.
But after watching Child’s Play, I’m pretty sure when a doll wants to take you out, scissors, batteries, and a fire bomb is NO MATCH for the evil spirit of a serial killer.
Consider yourself warned.