Kissing my iPhone

Turning Off My iPhone Everyday Might Kill Me. You Should Try It!

Remember how I made fun of Twitter last week? That was hilarious, but it got me thinking. {shudder}

I’ve been pondering my social media time; not like when I threatened to leave Twitter and became a silent and boring stalker, but I might be a touch overly attached to the Internet.

Here’s what I committed to last Friday:

I will turn off my BFF iPhone
1 hour each day, 1 day each week and 1 week each year.

(I read this idea somewhere. If you are my somewhere, please speak up because you will so want the credit for the following crazy.)

Raise your hand if you hyperventilated reading the sentence in bold.

Okay put your hand back down and stop your other hand from petting your smart phone excessively.

I, too, found this idea to be extreme and disturbing, which is why I’m not sure where I read it. Blocking it out was my brain’s attempt to protect itself.

And it took me at least three months of paying attention how much I love social media particularly checking Twitter, Facebook, email, StumbleUpon, Tumblr, this blog, my review blog, Word with Friends, the weather app, my to-do list app, Google calendar, not to mention all the times that I get sucked in by your personal awesomeness in the form of hilarious blog posts, intriguing articles, thoughtful emails, brilliant ideas and awful photographs.

But I have this thing called a LIFE. And it seems to need two hand a lot. Also, I have these kids who are not old enough to blow me off for their own iPhones.

Plus, I don’t think my urge to make out with my iPhone is healthy. Okay, the jury is still out on that one, but I’m suspicious.

As I mentioned many paragraphs up, I started this insanity on Friday beginning with the 1 hour per day mandate. I managed to have my phone off from precisely 3:03 p.m. until I REALLY NEEDED TO LOOK SOMETHING UP exactly 23 minutes later. I can’t remember what that something was, but it was my first day so 23 minutes is a lot longer than 0 minutes. Okay, so not A LOT longer, but a little bit longer and if it was MINUTES ON FIRE, it would definitely be a lot longer. {high-five}

Next came Saturday (for probably everyone), but for me, it was my 1 day per week mandate because I’m a jump in the deep end kind of person. Since my family and friends NEEDED to call me, I decided that my phone could be on, I just wasn’t going to participate in social media. NOTE: Word with Friends is RELAXING not social media-ing as I vehemently explained to Scott.

And then I accidentally read a blog post around 9 a.m. on Saturday morning and tweeted it. In my defensive, I was very moved by the post.

According to my Twitter feed, I lasted another 7 hours, but I’m pretty sure I had a 3.5 hour breakdown in between, either of which are vast improvement to 23 minutes.

On Sunday, I forgot leading to complete and utter failure.

And then Monday appeared like a homicidal dog trapping me in school-work-home. But at 3 p.m., I decisively turned off my phone. Ten minutes later, I’m found manically tapping on the home button because MY IPHONE IS BROKEN.

WTH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH {running around in circles}

Then I remembered that I’d turned it off ten minutes ago for my 1 hour a day.

So I’m pretty sure the week off of social media that I’ve planned for sometime around Christmas/New Years is going to go great and kill me. Let’s all hope that I forget to change my life by then.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents an 2 elementary age children, 4 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

11 thoughts on “Turning Off My iPhone Everyday Might Kill Me. You Should Try It!

  1. This is definitely going to be tough for you. You may want to purchase a defibrillator and keep it close by. And teach your family how to use it in case of “emergency heart failure due to lack of iphone usage”. I’m sure that’s a new disorder or disease by now.

  2. Oh this would be me, trying and then rationalizing my failure. I would say I will be here to support you during your week off but I can’t because you will be unreachable. I may be hyperventilating for you now. Thanks for the mention too :).

  3. Are you sure you want to do it around the holidays? How about waiting until you get a stomach bug and then turning off your phone for the week you would already be lying around the house sleeping? :)

    1. I figured there would be less shiny stuff going on around the Internet. I mean, the phone would have to be able to receive calls still… Maybe I need to turn off my Internet at the source. {shivers}

  4. I don’t have an iPhone – if I did, I’m pretty sure it would be the end of me.

    And I could definitely give up social media for an hour a day – and do quite often. Mostly on weekends when a computer isn’t staring in the face for eight hours a day with that little Google Chrome button taunting me to click onto the Twitters just for a little look-see. It’s an out-of-sight-out-of-mind kind of thing.

    And I could probably even go an entire day without social media. I mean, are we talking a full 24 hours here or does 12 hours count? ‘Cuz I’ve done 12 hours before.

    But a whole week? Forget about it.

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