I love my local coffee shop. I write for hours there without judgment (probably), and the croissants will knock your pants off.
In fact, I only have one complaint. It’s in the bathroom. Because when I finally realize my seated I-have-to-pee dance is attracting attention, pack up everything I own to minimize theft, run into the bathroom and sit on the toilet, I am greeted from above by JAUNTY HAT BATHROOM GUY.
I blurred out his face in case weird bathroom man is someone’s cousin.
Jaunty Hat Bathroom Guy: What did you EAT last night? And you did not wash your hands for the entire ABC song. Plus, you spent WAY to long staring at yourself in the mirror.
I can only think to respond: Stop looking at me, SWAN.*
Seriously y’all, does the owner hate this guy? Why is his picture looming over the toilet? Does it keep patrons from stealing toilet paper?
SUPER BATHROOM MAN! GREAT DEFENDER OF SOAP AND TIRELESS ENFORCER OF “IF YOU SPRINKLE WHILE YOU TINKLE, PLEASE BE NEAT AND CLEAN UP THE SEAT.”
Or he’s about to pee on me.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
he is totally about to pee on you. watch yourself. serious.
He is freaky. Maybe you need to sneak in a piece of paper to tape over him so you can pee in peace.
I always worry that some paintings really do have eyes. Which is why only landscapes should be allowed in bathrooms.
I’d feel very uncomfortable having that guy watch me pee. To me, it looks like he’s contemplating leaping to his death from a very tall building. Strange thing to memorialize in a bathroom.
That is just… weird… I’m with you, I think he’s there to deter bathroom amenity theft. Which clearly is seriously problem where you live.
Now THAT’S a great security guard for a bathroom…..mw
Ah, Billy Madison. I love that movie.
seconded.
Put a post-it over his face!
That is definitely weird. I would be very uncomfortable peeing there.
*snort*
That’s all I have to contribute today, because I just can’t think of anything clever to say about Jaunty Hat Bathroom Guy. And so, I say again…
*snort*
I love awkward pictures in the bathroom! I have decorated our guest bathroom with 100 pictures that I switch about twice a year of all our friends and family. Some people think it is creepy that our friends are watching them in the bathroom. Others complain that there are not more pictures of themselves in the bathroom.
And I love that picture! I kind of want it for my bathroom…
I have major public peeing anxiety anyway. I’d have a hard time using that bathroom.