Inspired by a conversation that began with an @AngieKinghorn tweet.
Can I get an AMEN? Because I CAN’T SEE THE “E” AT THE TOP OF THE EYE CHART! If my glasses aren’t exactly where I left them that morning, I begin to pat the counter and floor around me in a desperate attempt to drum them out until my husband takes pity on me and says: They’re on your nightstand.
I have worn glasses since I was caught squinting at the overhead projector spelling words in third grade.
Since then I’ve rocked powder blue glasses to red cat frames as my eyes got progressive worse and worse.
I got contacts in sixth grade and constantly looked like I was crying. Okay, middle school sucked so I also WAS crying.
I finally gave up contacts and worse glasses until my end of eighth grade transformation where I cut of my perm, got my braces off and magically stopped stabbing myself in the eye with my contacts.
And I wore the crap out my contacts. Sometimes for days on end until I had to peel the contact off my pupil with two hands and a foot propped up against the sink. I had decided that I hated how I looked in glasses. Oh, and I was lazy.
By medical school, I had found glasses I liked and also the percentage of glasses-wearing people tics up quite a bit in medical school so perhaps I was just trying to blend in so they wouldn’t realized that they had accidentally let in a PHILOSOPHY MAJOR.
Today, I rock both except in the summer when my glasses make me have sweaty-nose-bridge.
But I can’t even fathom how cool it would be to wake up and see my alarm clock. To not have to call in my husband to help me find my glasses. To swim without worrying that my contact is going to float next to me at any moment.
I am sometimes struck with the fear that a contact will fall out while I’m driving/awayfromhome and I will have to one-eye-it back to the house — miserable with a slew of people thinking I’m hitting on them with my winky-ness.
Except LASIK surgery scares me (and not just because it’s always YELLING AT ME). I only have two eyes and I do not want to have to change careers and become a pirate if one side doesn’t go well.
So I ask: Should I get LASIK? Have you? Would you?