As I’ve written about before, we’ve made it a point to teach out children that proper names for their anatomical parts. And while we emphasize that those parts are private and special, we don’t want to imply that they are secret or weird. Which sounds pretty boring and fairly easy until we are all in the car. Together.
My daughter, N, spontaneously announces: I have a penis.
My son counters: No, you don’t. You have a vagina.
N is unimpressed: I HAVE A PENIS!
E: NO, YOU DON’T! I HAVE A PENIS, AND YOU HAVE A VAGINA. Girls have vaginas and boys have penises.
N, being the little feminist the she is, does not believe that all girls have vaginas. Or she is just enjoying how upset her older brother is getting (another fantastic feminist quality). Either way, she continue to tout her penis and my son continues to shout back about vaginas.
However, I, being an older and wiser feminism theorist, get nervous. I don’t want N to think penises are better. I want vaginas to seem just as cool.
So I think fast and talk loud because N is now screaming: PPPEEENNNNIIISSSS
Me: WHO HAS A VAGINA? RAISE YOUR HAND!
And I raise my hand and yell like it’s the best thing to happen to me: MEEEEEEEE!
And N suddenly wants in and yells: MEEEEEEEE! I HAVE A VAGINA!
But I don’t want to emasculate my young son so I then yell: WHO HAS A PENIS?
And my husband and son quickly raise their hands and yell: MMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!
And we all cheer.
Also, this may be the one time feminists and cheerleaders are on common ground.